A
female
age
36-40,
*aliGurl88
writes:Am I wrong for not likeing my friend new boyfriend? We are "were" great friends, until she got this bf. I understand things change once we get bf or gf, but I don't like him. I don't know him or never talked to him but there is something I don't like about him. She gets mad at me, but I trust my judgement bcuz I have had a lot of experience. When I feel something is wrong, something always goes bad. I guess I don't want him to hurt her, bcuz she loves and trust everybody. Am I wrong for not even giving him a chance? I really don't see anything wrong with it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 May 2009):
 You really owe this guy a chance. I can appreciate you looking out for your girlfriend, but it's really not fair to the guy that you're writing him of as bad news without ever having spoke or met him.
I also think that you need to try and keep your head clear when you DO meet him. If you're anticipating him being a creep, then you are going to be watching like a hawk for him to make a false step. As "anon" says, you'll create this self-fulfilling prophecy believing that he's inevitably going to be a jerk. Instead of finding the way he puts his arm around her waist cute and charming, you'll find it possessive and controlling.
I think it's great that you're looking out for your girlfriend's best interest, it is super important to have friends like you ESPECIALLY if the guy turns out to be a scumbag. But, until you meet him for yourself and are in a good position to pass judgment, it's not fair to write him off quite yet.
Good luck, sweetness!
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 perhaps that's why you have a bad feeling because you guys have never really talked i mean i am in a similar situation to you but i have actually talked to the guy and gotten to know him and my friend isn't really with him.
but i had a gut instinct first but i thought no i'll talk to him see how he is with me an stuff and he was a complete knob! excuse my language.
but i mean this guy maybe really lovely he maybe really horrible but don't judge too quickly talk to him get to know him you never know he could be really an amazing guy.
perhaps you feel a little jealous because you and you're friend have sort of drifted now she's got a boyfriend and you feel you're losing her altogether?
perhaps you hoped you'd get a boyfriend the same time as her so it wouldn't be so awkward with you?
or maybe you hate feeling the third wheel?
so many reasons.
anyways i hope this helps if you want to talk further on this please please don't hesitate to message me :)
i'm going through the same thing as you, i can help if you want :)
best of luck
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): My opision, I will have to say that you are wrong. Logically, you have never given him a chance but you know something is wrong. What's up with that? I'm sure your friend can not make sense out of that. The something wrong could be you missing your friend since you "were" great friends. I know many people that have had best friends who dislike their latest bf/gf, but they usually say it after they try to get to know them. I don't know how your "experience" applies here.
I know you care about her, I'm sure you've had your experiences like you said and it prolly sucks your friend does not understand them as good as you may have hoped but she would need to make her own mistakes since it's also her life. What matters is that you still care for her and is there for her when she needs you since that is what a true friend is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): If you are experienced, shouldn't experience tell you that before you judge a person that you should at least get to know them? So you have a "bad feeling" about him and I guess she's supposed to dump him because you are psychic? When you feel something's wrong, it can also be a self fulfilling prophecy and you subconsciously make it wrong to fit your fortune telling. I don't think you are being a very supportive friend for making these statements about him when you've never even talked to him. She should be more wary of you than him!
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