A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why are my friends doing this? am I weird to think is wrong? My friends say am boring and I should change my rules when it comes to guys.I've always been the kind of girl to only kiss a guy or have sex with a guy when we're in a relationship and we're crazy about each other. I've been seeing this guy that I like, he's hot and my friends think I should sleep with him. I broke up with my ex bf 7months ago and I've not been with anyone since. Sex is such a bit deal to me.When we went on holiday, my friends all slept with at least 2guys there even though they had bf's back home. I think is wrong. But they all say I should try it. But I just can't bring myself to it. I don't even want to.Am 21 going on 22, so are most girls my age having sex with strangers and everyone that comes their way like my friends are doing?Am I weird? My best friend says is cos am a classy girl and I have self respect and my other girls are just trash.Is it true? Thanks..x
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, heart245  +, writes (29 October 2011):
Yes your group a friends are totally wrong they will never be ina relationship where trust is mutual. They most likely feel insecure and need to feel a mans body to reassure themselves. And they may be your friends but you dont need to obey whatever they say. I dont even know you but respect you for your decissions. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): You have the wrong friends.
You are the one who is treating yourself and your special people in your life correctly.
Get a different group of friends, these are the type of friends who will try to drag you down with them, and they are doing that.
Not everyone does this. I grew up in the "pre-AIDS" era, and random fucking was quite widespread, but I never did it. Today, all my acquaintances who did have had multiple counselors, wives, numerous failed relationships, broken homes with children sharing all over the place, and to be honest sexual issues.
I've been married a long time, love my wife and kids, and still love and enjoy sex with my wife and she does with me. I wouldn't trade that feeling for all the random sex partners in the world, and all the regret that comes with it later.
I do medical work for a living and see all the hurt and pain that people carry that they cover up outside my office.
Stick to your moral compass...you ain't missing anything.
...............................
A
male
reader, mr sad  +, writes (26 October 2011):
From my point of view , the younger crowd seems more open , is this right , no , good for you girl , seems that now a days you are one of the rare ones , theres nothing wrong with being horney , but keep it for the one that means something to you , or go masterbate , nothing wrong with that either , when people sleep around like that , they are very lonley , and the sex is very empty , then they feel bad later , cause it met nothing
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I agree with CaringGuy, maybe you have the wrong friends if that is how they act.
You have to follow YOUR moral compass, do what you believe is right.
If the same girls jumped og a bridge into a 100 meter deep gorge, would you even feel tempted to jump too? They want YOU to be as pathetic as them, becaue they don't like to realize that as girlfriends/friends they FAIL abysmally.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): Youre not weird at all!
You just have self respect, something that seems to be disappearing these days. Just because your friends do not does not mean you should be like them. Whatever you do don't go down to that level because if you do, there is no going back.
Perhaps they want to bring you down like someone else said, perhaps not, i am not one to judge, you hang out with certain people for your own reasons. But I think that they do the things they do because society says its ok, and a lot of pop culture is praising this kind of behavior.
The important thing, especially since it is a big deal to you, is not to do anything you don't truly want to or would be ashamed of, or to let someone else pressure you into it. In this case it is sex. If you do not want to sleep around, or with this new guy, then don't.
When I was younger, I've run into this kind of thing and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I thought, 'whats the point of having a relationship and trying, if she is going to cheat on me anyways?' Knowing that there are girls out there like you is what kept me from going that path myself, and i couldn't be happier.
...............................
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (26 October 2011):
 Yes it is true what your other friend say, these girls are ovbiously really shallow and i am sure they will look back when they are older and think of how immature they used to be (unfortunely i doubt some of them won't ever change)
You ovbiously love your boyfriend and that is a brilliant thing don't go and ruin it because you want to be like everyone else.
I agree with caringguy that maybe you have the wrong friends if they are trying to get you to do something you don't want to then that just isn't a good. sign.
I am 14 and at my old highschool many girls who were the same age as me were doing what your friends are doing now.
I always used to feel like the odd one out cause all these girls had done this and that and had fwbs and were sleeping with a different boy and i hadn't even had a bf.
But i am happy i didn't bend to please them and fit in because i am simply wating for the right person to come along and some of the things they done were just damn right wrong. One girl had aparently planned to sleep with her 30 year old cousin and i just thought do i want to end up like that? No way.
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (26 October 2011):
Your best friend is right, the other girls are trashy. They are not a very good peer group for you, it is they who should be trying to be more like you, than the other way around.
I know which person I would value more as a girlfriend and a friend, you or one of your friends.
...............................
A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I agree with your best friend. Sex is a big deal. And its great that you view it as such. Don't change if its not what you want.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 No, you're not weird. People have different standards. You have a higher standard then those others.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 October 2011):
Maybe you have the wrong friends. What's happened is that they've all done this, and they wish they hadn't. But they can't turn the clock back, so instead they'll try to make you do it so you're all 'even' again. I've seen this happen a few times. I think your friends sound pretty poor to be honest. Your best friend is right. You have self respect, you have respect for your boyfriend and those other friends aren't really friends. They're just out to pull you down to their level.
...............................
|
