A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I guy I was dating told me things that a lot of men I have dated have never told me-----he told me that he could see living his life with me, that he was falling in love with me, that he was surprised that no one ever asked me to marry them, etc.He never asked me for anything and was adamant that he didn't like for women to pay for things.I felt it was way too soon for him to have all of these feelings, and he kind of agreed, but still he had them.Then, suddenly, he would change his mind and tell me he disliked some aspect of my personality. He did this twice. The first time he said that even though he told me to get lost, he would have contacted me and that he missed me. Then 2nd time he did this, he told me something different he didn't like about me, and that he didn't see any kind of future with me.So, both times he has been hurtful to me. Both times he has contacted me, or we have continued talking, and reaching out to each other. The most recent time, he asked me out for a drink, I declined. He texted me about how he was feeling and he seemed in a good mood.Over the past few days it seems like he only replies to my texts out of boredom, or to tell me he doesn't know why I still text him. He told me that it was too soon for him to get into a relationship and have to commit to a person (mind you, he was emphatic that if we were to date, he didn't want a booty call situation). I told him that I understood, and I never expected him to have love for me so soon. He only replied that he wonders why I keep texting him.Part of me feels like he really is done with me. And that I just need to no longer contact him. Another part thinks that maybe, maybe he does care for me, but, as he has said, is afraid of having loving feelings.What do I do? It is hard because he won't answer the phone and actually talk about this. He is way older than me (in his 40s), and has had a very difficult recent past. Part of me thinks that I was the first woman he has been with in a long, long time, so he got too eager for me perhaps.i feel silly texting him something deep and trying to have a meaningful expression of feelings when he will either ignore me, or text me that I am bugging him. Am I weird for feeling confused? He sends me texts about how he isn't feeling good and how I am right about some things, and then he sends me texts about how he is done with me. :( Not sure how to feel.
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male
reader, Snowshoe  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 He may have honestly meant the sweet things he said.However, the fact is he may have been being sweet to play you. That is why you are feeling confused.
Regardless it doesn't sound like he has himself sorted out enough emotionally to add anything healthy to your life. I would have to agree to a few of the other comments and suggest you cut bait and run.
A
female
reader, nicole90 +, writes (8 December 2010):
 It seems he doesn't really know what he wants. You should continue on in your life and if he sees fit, then he will contact you to continue the relationship.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2010):
 You are wasting your time. Stop all contact and move on. He's either just playing with you or he has issues, neither is good for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I wonder too why you keep texting him.
He repeatedly told you you are done, he does not answers your calls , he does not want to discuss your relationship with you. If you text him you bug him. But if he text you, then it's ok.
What a conceited ass.
Suppose he may have buried love feelings , or a generic "fear of love " ( which btw I don't believe for a sec. )So ? He would have to find the strength to unbury these feelings on his own, or overcoming his fears on his own, without you acting as his emotional nanny. He is a grown up man !, he'd need to do his part of the job in a relationship !, - or would you like to be forever pushing and prodding to squeeze some drops of emotion out of him ??
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Stop texting this manipulative jerk. He doesn't care about your feelings. Don't be his free therapist or his last resort date. If he was a good guy he wouldn't be playing these little dumb head games. Lose his number.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 This man is avoiding commitment and really has no idea what he wants.
If he is your soul mate, then go to relationship counselling however, I think you are wasting your time, I dont think anything serious will come of this relationship.
Sorry!
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