A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my man whom i love very clearly is always looking for some kind of evidence that i have or i am cheating,its now becoming a problem.i can honestly say ive never physicaly or mentaly had an affair with no one since we got together,but he seems to think diffrently and truly believes that all women stray given the opportunity,if they do stray its not about opportunity.this is guy whom has 2 mobile phones 1 is on vibrate the other ringin in and does a lot of txting to whom i dont know as he dont say,yet im under suspicion,i fancy him lke crazy,love having sex or making love to him,tell him how much i love and want him all the time and want to spend every chance i get with him,yet he dont believe me,am i wasting my time here or will he see sense and start enjoying me as i enjoy him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): i think your guy is cheating on you,infact im more than positive he`s cheating,as my x would accuse me to start an argument so he had an excuse not to see or txt me,that way he was free to go to his secret lover
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): I dont want to put a downer om things,but have you thought he could have stumbled upon summat? If so have you offered a real explanation. If he was doing something he wouldnt text in your company and let you know he`s got 2 phones. Can you say you have been totaly honest yourself? He may know something you dont know he knows.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I agree with rcn. Nobody here can say for sure what is happening. Why would he want to have 2 cell phones. Who ants to pay for that? Is one for business purposes? It's like a guy carrying a spare pair of shoes on his belt, or an extra wallet in his pocket.....what for?
You should not pay the price fro a crime you have not committed. You're already resentful of his treatment and hoping to fix it. The next stage is just resentment and anger. Give him a choice but be prepared to walk. He needs to feel some heat. If he's a cheater though, he'll only wait until the heat subsides then he'll start again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Ok first of all I think the reason he's on you so much is because he's doing it or has already! And he knows how easy it is. 2 phones and texing is a sign of cheating I've had it happen to me. That's a way the keep in touch with other females. You need to look into that. Try and find something. If you do leave now. If not stay. But I'm sure he is hiding something that's why he calls you out to keep you off his back.....he's up to something. Look in his phone when he's sleep or away if he deletes everything and its empty he's cheating.
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A
male
reader, rhino +, writes (5 October 2007):
 any man,i believe me has 2 phones and wont tell you anything,is cheating on you,he is judging you by his standards,dump him,you can and will do better,you are answerable to no one who treats you like that,trust me,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): You could try asking him why he does so much texting and being secretive - my guess is that most of it is for the purpose of passing jokes around to his mates, some of which you might not find particularly funny, so he keeps them to himself. Quite why he uses two phones is beyond me, but I'd be suspicious of the one that's on vibrate. Ask him why.
Perhaps he's judging you by his own standards? Maybe he's been cheated on before?
Tell him what you've told us, that you don't/haven't/won't cheat on him and he'd better accept that fact or you're going to get pretty pissed off about his jealousy or whatever it is that's going through his brain. You also need to tell him that this issue will eventually drive you apart if he's not careful.
I can see that the time will come when you'll still be getting the grief so you'll think to yourself you might just as well go and have the fun that goes with it and give him something to be anxious about!
Hope you get this sorted out soon.
Phil
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. You cannot have a happy HEALTHY relationship wth someone if they are always looking over YOUR shoulder. It sounds like he has had relationship problems in the past, but that doesn't mean he can take them out on you. you need to sit down with your man and let him know that you aren't going anywhere, and that it would mean alot to you if he would just relaz and trust you.
If he can't trust you, you need to find someone who can.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I'm not pointing fingers, so don't take this as a direct accusation. In many cases the one who accuses is the one who's doing what he's accusing the other person of. It's almost like, gee getting close to getting caught, let's catch her before she can catch me so I won't be at fault.
Some guys and girls automatically come into relationships believing they will be cheated on if it's happened in the past. The pain caused from being deceived activates warnings, but unfortunately our brains do not separate the fears and attaches them to the situation they were in when the pain was developed.
So future relations can be affected by deceit you had nothing to do with in the first place.
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