A
female
age
30-35,
*ubblegumbox21
writes:Okay, so im 26 yr old female. No kids. Living on my own. I am disabled so i get about 700$ a month to pay all my bills rent and food. It is very hard to live on that amount per month bc the rent and utility bills alone are that each month. Anyways, ive been seeing this boy for a few weeks...hes very....well stuck up my butt. He comes over to my apartment everyday and eats about 50$ worth of groceries then gets mad bc i dont have sex with him, leaves pop cans, plates, and wrappers everywhere. He lives with his mom and grandma and doesnt pay any bills atall. Works a job but stays broke...he says he wants to be sober but ive seen him piss drunk 3 times already and he seems to have no self control. He borrows money and doesnt pay it back and doesnt seem to understand at all when i tried to explain to him that i cannot afford to take care of him...we dont go on dates and the dates we have had i have provided for...he always has excuses as to why he doesnt have money but yet he doesnt pay any bills where hes living and never contributes towards my place where he is almost every day. I cook for him, let him eat with me alot, and i pick up after him,he sleeps on my couch or in my bed, but never makes the bed. I feel like hes not mature or doesnt respect me or my home. I tried talking to him about my concerns, and he doesnt seem to care. Am i wasting my time? Should i break up with him?
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disabled, drunk, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Indiglorex +, writes (28 May 2019):
I don't even think this is even a relationship.
Please don't take his abuse anymore.
Please end it, you don't deserve that from him or anyone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2019): What do you get out of this relationship?! Don't waste your time. Ditch this guy and find someone better.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (26 May 2019):
 I have so many questions.
Is this post for real?
Are YOU for real?
What do you get out of this situation (I am not going to dignify it by calling is a relationship)?
Are you being intimidated/bullied by him? Are you scared of him?
Are you so desperate for company that you allow him to use and abuse you in this way just to have his company?
Lastly, and most importantly: DO YOU NOT THINK YOU ARE WORTH BETTER THAN THIS? Let me answer that question for you: you ARE worth more than this, SO much more.
I have no idea how the welfare system works in your country, but please make sure you are getting all the help to which you are entitled.
Your maths doesn't add up at all, unless you are getting help from family or friends. You say you get $700 a month and that your rent and utilities alone add up to that, so where are you getting $50 per day, every day, for this guy to eat in food? Even allowing for exaggeration of the amount he actually eats, you are still feeding him every day from money you don't have, not to mention giving him money.
If you are doing this to have company, you need to open your eyes and see you are BUYING his company. Get rid of him, get yourself out and about and meet new people and make new friends. Leave this parasitic low life to live off someone else.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 May 2019):
 Yes, I think you already know what you should do.
Having a partner means THEY ADD to your life in a positive manner. HE doesn't.
He thinks because his mom/grandmother takes care of him, so should you. And no, you shouldn't.
You shouldn't have to cook and clean up after him, spend extra money on food and lend him money you CAN'T afford.
Think about it, OP what does he PROVIDE of good to your life? He doesn't take you out, he treats you LIKE his mother/grandmother and wants sex on demand on top. Doesn't sound like YOU get much out of this other than being stressed over how "expensive" he is and how little he cares.
YOU can DO SOOOO much better, OP
He sounds like a user and an asshat who needs to GROW up!
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (26 May 2019):
 Honey, I was only a few lines in reading and thought this guy is a leech. No good can come from a parasite such as him. He is taking advantage big time. You know it, he knows it. Get rid of him, you have nothing to lose but oh so much to gain by doing so
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2019): Read your own post! You have to ask somebody? You've answered your own question!
He eats your food, borrows money he won't pay back, he messes up your place, pressures you for sex; and he doesn't do anything to show you he cares about you. What is it that you can't see here???
If you're seeking advice and permission to kick him to the curb? You've got both from me!
I strongly suggest that you stop giving him what you barely have for yourself!
You have very limited financial resources; and you know you're being used. Read your post out-loud to yourself a couple of times. Listen to your common-sense. If you felt reason to write for advice, but your answer is in your post. You already know what you have to do!
Just ask him to not come to your apartment anymore.
It's over!!!
You can't afford to offer him anything; because you're on a fixed-budget, and he is very selfish and inconsiderate. You don't appreciate being taken advantage of, or used.
End it as soon as possible! It wouldn't be a breakup, it would be fighting for your survival! You don't really have a relationship to breakup. You have a parasitic-moocher who takes what little you have! It's deplorable!!!
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