A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I am with my boyfriend now 5 months and everything else is great in our relationship except we can't sleep together!! I stay with him a few nights during the week and i just can't possibly sleep next to him! It's impossible for me,i am a very light sleeper and he snores! I try to sleep next to him but with any noise or movement he makes,i eake up and can't go back to sleep. We tried everything, him sleeping in the couch,me wearing earplugs or listening to white noise through headphones. Having the tv open, sleeping in separate beds. Everything! But nothing works for us and most of the time he ends up sleeping in the couch. I love him dearly and he does too but this is a major problem for us, wr really want to sleep like a normal couple next to each other and we can't. Please help us! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2019):
 Your BF should see a doctor.
Snoring isn't a sign of being healthy. (generally).
But in the main time, not sleep over? I know it's not the kind of fix you prefer, but you BOTH need to sleep and if you can't ADJUST to his movements and snoring what else is there?
Or just try sleeping over on weekends when neither have to be totally well rested. There are the nasal strips that CAN help not snoring, but... they only work if there is no underlying medical reason. Which is why I say he should go see his doctor is the snoring is really bad.
Lastly, OP EVERYONE makes noises when they sleep and it IS an adjustment when sleeping next to someone either new or for the first time. My husband was a bad snorer too, when he was away at schools, training I slept like a baby, but for deployments I slept very little. Mostly because my kids (who were small at the time) would come pile up in our bed. They didn't snore but MOVED around WAY too much. In time though, I'd get used to them and then my husband would come home and I'd have to adjust again. After he had a heart attack he more or less stopped snoring, and I woke several times at night to check and see if he was OK.
There will ALWAYS be something to ADJUST to when you have a partner.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2019): You have tried all of the usual fixes. They don't work. The next step is for your boyfriend to do something about it and visit the doctor. Some snoring can be improved by behaviour changes or apparatus that you wear to sleep, some can't.
Don't expect there won't be compromises. He might not be able to sleep in his back, he might have to wear headgear. Or, as is unfortunately most likely- you will have to sleep in seperate rooms if you want to stay together.
That's not all bad- women and men sleep better alone, and creeping in to say hello in the morning is good fun. Life gets in the way of romance sometimes, it happens.
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