A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently saw an old classmate on FB. He graduated 79 and I 80. So he sent me his number and I called well at first it was merely to just chat with the guy that caught my eye way back when but I was with my boyfriend who later became my husband. So we chatted and he suggested a weekend in his state after the holidays and I said ok. The problem is he's awfully busy and when he's not he's at the gym. He attends body building competentions. Plus his attitude really sucks when I text him every morning greeting him he will text back and call in the afternoon while in route to one of his functions we would talk for five minutes or so and then the same communications start over. I texted him one morning and there was no response. So I texted him that afternoon with just a greeting he texted hi back. I thought that was odd so I called and he said he was with a friend all day at the hospital because her ride didn't show up. So I said you mean you had to follow the doctors around and couldn't find 30 seconds to text. So we exchanged a few words and he said he better go because he didnt want to be mean to me. I texted him later on and said It was nice chatting with you and I thought it could be more take care and I wish you the best in life. Now there's a naggng feeling like I wanted him but I couldnt handle this long distance possible relationship or he's, ok I didn't call you, you'll live with attitude. Oh this is a hard one I just can't imagine being with him more than a weekend.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): For those who read your post is very unclear what you really want us to suggest to you. That's why there is so much misunderstanding is going on.Basically you told us the episode about your old classmate that you came into contact with who lives far from you, and at one point he suggested a weekend together, that never actually happened. Correct?Then you exchanged some frases that let us believe that you wrote him off by saying , have a good life. These words people say when they want to say good buy and never see that person again. Now, you are saying in one of your responses that we didn't understand you correctly saying so much about you texting and nothing about LDR. As Cindy Cares said: what LDR if you told to a guy have a nice life? There was no LDR to begin with and there can't be any LDR now after you said good buy to him.There is nothing to handle here, because nothing exists. No LDR, nothing but a short texts from you and couple of phone calls from him. He MAY BE got a little intrigued in a beginning when you showed up in Facebook, but then life took over and he doesn't seem to be extremely excited and to tell u the truth why should he be? And why would you be? I travel a lot, I meet guys ALL the time, and we become Facebook friends. Guess what happens after few weeks, we never keep in touch, what for? In a beginning both a little intrigued we text to each other, but then it dies out. When I travelled abroad last year I even had a short sexual encounter with someone so handsome it hurt to look at him. And he also was amazing in bed and that day that we spent together. He touched me to tears, I was in love that one day. And then I LEFT, and after few weeks of texting we stoped and never talked or saw each other again.This is LDR for you, very short lived. Most LDRs are like that, so don't get upset if yours never happened, most of them have a very short life.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 No no, I had got that. You reconnected with an ex classmate and were communicating with him in view of a possible LDR that should / could have started after spending a weekend together. My question is : is the weekend still on, after a text that,whomever sent it to the other, basically means " get lost, it's over ? " .
Anyway, from what you have written I get the feeling that a LDR may not work too well for you, since you suffer a certain " separation anxiety " and so far you are not receiving from this man a quantity of attention and communication you are happy with.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 'I thought it could be more, take care and I wish you the best in life'
I didn't get this part either. Did he say it? If he did then it's a definite goodbye.
If you said it, I don't understand why you would if you like the guy so much?? Unless you were just saying it to get a reaction from him?
As for the LDR, well you will probably only know how to handle it when you are actually IN the relationship and it depends on the arrangements for meeting etc...
But already you seem a bit testy over his lack of attention so perhaps a LDR just isn't for you, perhaps you'd be happier dating someone you could see at short notice or every day or so?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCindyCares, are you referencing this paragraph?..I texted him later on and said It was nice chatting with you and I thought it could be more take care and I wish you the best in life. Now there's a naggng feeling like I wanted him but I couldnt handle this long distance possible relationship or he's, ok I didn't call you, you'll live with attitude.
I am sorry I don't know how to make it any clearer...the LDR was to be with my old classmate if I learned how to deal with the separation after wanting to be with someone that don't live next door so to speak. I hope this clears everything on anyway I have put together some advice from all those nice folks that responded to my problem. Thank you all again.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 December 2012):
So you have concerns about a LDR,but... a LDR with whom ?..
Your last paragraph was a bit confusing, at least for me, anyway I got that somebody said to the other " I thought it could be more, take care and I wish you the best in life ". That's ditching. That's closing the door, and none too gently. Either you ditched him, or he ditched you- so how the LDR fits in ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAunty Em,I never wanted anyone to tell me what I wanted to hear because I don't know what to do about the situation also, my concern was how to deal with a LDR. You guys focused in on how many times I texted him it was as if you dismissed all he did to hold my attention. I just merely texted hello or gm every morning and made sure I was available when he called. So if you can not give me pointers in reference to LDR in how to keep the communications going unti we not met cause we met when we was in high school every morning at the same bus stop...but to see what happens, cause I have agreed to be with him for a weekend. By the way neither are married. And if two people can't keep up a communication before meeting imagine what would happen if they entered an relationship. But thanks for your advice. :)
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 December 2012):
Ok I'm gonna break with tradition and tell you what you WANT to hear.
For someone who you arn't in a relationship with who is long distance, who hasn't officially asked to be with you and maybe just wants to meet to see if there is a possibility, even though he's busy and even though you busted his balls for not texting you when his friend was ill, I say, sure go right ahead, keep on and on and don't forget to get all diva if he doesn't act how you want him to act...text him every chance you can and be extra demanding cos that is sure the right way to get him to fall madly in love with you...too much??? Naw!!! how could it be.
You like him huh? so chase away to your hearts content.
That's what you wanted to hear so good luck with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me clear this for most of you nice folks..He called every afternoon. He gave me his number. He stated he wanted a whole weekend and said he was going to book the flight after the holidays. I text him every morning because that's my only free time and I like talking to him. I think after how many years if you grew up with someone thats from your neighborhood that you liked secretly and by chance had the opportunity to see again. Omg,that's awesome. However I just don't like LDR because of the yearning and desire to be with someone. So I don't think 30 seconds is taking away from anyone that wants to be with you. And I never tried to squeeze myself in his life I know how to walk along with someone. I appreciate your responses. :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012):
I read your post and I'm left wondering if you still assume that the weekend he asked you to attend will still take place?
In my opinion he has cut all ties with you in his text, he ended it have a good life, which means leave me alone.. I'm sorry to say that you have I annoyed him by texting him way far to much, really you should have wilted for him to text you or asked at the beginning did he mind you texting in the morning as that was kinda your thing saying hello to friends etc, and then got his reaction.. I'd let this go and take it as a learning curve..
Take care sweetie, there plenty of fish in the sea.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Yes, you're texting him way too much. You're chasing him so he doesn't need to chase you, assuming he's even inclined to.
The daily morning greetings are a bit much. Friends or lovers should be given the chance to miss you and be inspired to initiate contact. Your company should be earned, not doled out like Halloween candy.
This statement: 'So I said you mean you had to follow the doctors around and couldn't find 30 seconds to text.' Very demanding, very clingy and angry. That's the sort of thing one might say to an errant family member during an emergency.
And if someone appears to need a bit of space, you give it to them without them having to ask or explain. Don't pine about waiting for them, but go about your business. You don't know what's going on on his end and he isn't obliged to account for his time.
It may be that this guy just isn't ready for a big commitment right now. He sounds busy and preoccupied with other things. Trying to squeeze yourself into his life is only going to cause both of you aggravation. And it makes you less appealing bcause it shows him that you don't have anything interesting going on in your own life.
When he is ready for a companion, he'll want someone who compliments his life (as he would theirs). Someone with interests and goals of their own. Someone others admire and want to be with. Not someone demanding of his time and desperate for his attention. So be the former and not the latter.
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reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 December 2012):
It does not seem that he is very interested in you for a relationship.
OK so he invited you to visit him, but that doesn't really mean you are in a relationship with him and you got on his case when he didn't text you and this has given him the perfect excuse to drop you.
He seems like he has a busy life and other people to see so I wouldn't bother trying to keep touch with him. Just put it down to experience and move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): This is a strange story to me, tell you the truth. You are communicating with someone who you didn't see more than half of your life. If you guys graduated in 1980, you both must over 50. You didn't keep in touch for more than 30 years.He doesn't live with you even in one city. It's not like you are dating or have any kind of relationship with him. Why would you text him every morning? I don't exchange texts every day even with my daughter who lives in different state. Or my close friends. This is way too much communication for 2 adults that basically have nothing in common but some old memory of high school years.I didn't keep touch with my high school friends for almost 30 years also, but then thanks to a site that open on my country I found all of them. Since then I moved to another country, we all had kids, many years passed. When I visited my home country recently I 've met couple of them, and we really had a great time. Our lives are very different, mine is financially much more secure than theirs, my life is occupied with all kind of activities and traveling. We hardly had anything in common, but old high school memories.After that my guy classmate started texting and contacting me on a Facebook almost every day. He gently flirted with me knowing that I'm married. At first it was entertaining, but then after couple of weeks I lost interest. Why would I keep so much communication with someone so faraway and particular interests in common?It's the same thing here. You classmate was probably bewildered why you keep on texting him.
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