A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have a problem, a man reaaly likes me and would do anything for me but because he is ginger im scared what people will say! what do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Yes i agree with you
you do have a problem and it's Ginger hair,lucky for you that this is the only problem you seem to have in your life at this moment.
Fiery red heads are so interesting and their hair is magical....especially when the sun shines on it.
You care to much about what others think when you need to care more about how YOU THINK!
Spunky monkey
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I think your question says more about your views than it does about the other people you want to know about.
What would you do if you saw this ginger man walking down the street with a woman? Would you laugh? Make a joke? Heckle him?
Why are you so worried what other people think? If he is a good guy and you like him, what does it matter what anyone else thinks?
As a redhead myself, I know how much it hurts when you get picked on for being different. Society thinks its ok to take the mickey out of "gingers". Quite why we are fair game is beyond me. But it hurts. A lot. It makes us feel like second class citizens and many many redheads are forced to dye their hair in order to fit into what is considered "normal". Bizarrely "dyed" red hair is deemed to be ok - just not natural red.
I am sure he would be very hurt at the fact you are even asking this question, and you cannot feel very much for him if you are willing to take other peoples opinions over your own feelings. All because you value "other people" more that him.
Leave him to find a girl who appreciates him, for his looks, personality and love. I would never want to be with someone who was ashamed to be seen with me. It would break my heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): No, you're right people do have different tastes what i'm saying is she is worried about what other people will say and is ashamed because of his hair colour. That is shallow and cruel. No, obviously i don't know the guy but she herself said he would do anything for her, so that gave me the impression he was a good guy. She obviously thinks there's something wrong about having red hair, to me that is shallow. You don't have to agree it's just my opinion.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 "When i read this post i did get pretty angry about it because it really upsets me that somebody can be so cruel and shallow when this guy is obviously worth more than that. He's a good guy so what's the colour of his hair got to do with anything?"
Thewalkingdude: you don't know this man personally do you? So in other words whether he is a good guy or not is irrelevant. That's not the question here, and for all you know he's not a good guy at all.
People have different tastes. If you, question asker, don't like red hair, then thats NOT shallow. It's what floats your boat. However, my personal experience tells me that once you fall in love with someone, the little "defaults" don't matter much. But if you aren't in love with him, and his hair colour puts you off, then don't try to force it.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 November 2010):
 What to do?
(a) leave him to find a girl who loves red hair!
(b) date him on the condition that he wears a wig in any colour of your choice, or does the 'just for men' thing.
(c) remind yourself that in 10 years he might have that receding hairline comb-over look...you would be missing his red locks then so get running those fingers through his hair now, while it is still available!
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Actually I have a nice suggestion, if you like him and he'll do anything then why not ask him to dye his hair and eyebrows? Maybe a blonde, often ginger's can pull that off.
However, if you don't like him in that way, then simply tell him "no thank you", you're not interested.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Okay. This post for some reason seems to be drawing very angry replies. Here's a reminder for our aunts. Read the guidelines here: http://www.dearcupid.org/pages/answer-guidelines.html
If you cannot respond with helpful advice and without an insult to the poster, please do not answer this question. Simple as that.
Many of the answers chastising the OP for being immature were equally immature and insensitive. Ahem.
OP, you might want to clarify your situation and reply to the people who have taken the time to respond.
Any more nonsense on this question and it is going to be closed down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Rob Redford, Seth Green, Conan O'brien, Damien Lewis, Prince Harry, David Caruso.... *shudder* Chuck Norris... redheads are no longer burnt at the stake ya know... though Chuck Norris we just can't catch... quick like a bunny he is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): If he is a good person and treats you well then who cares what anyone else thinks! Live you life for you and if he makes you happy no one can judge you or take that happiness away.
Now go and make his day and ask him out!
X
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): When i read this post i did get pretty angry about it because it really upsets me that somebody can be so cruel and shallow when this guy is obviously worth more than that. He's a good guy so what's the colour of his hair got to do with anything? I just ask you this: please, if you do decide that you don't want to date him don't be so horrible as to tell him it's because of the way he looks. If you do, it could hurt him very badly.
How would you feel if you found out somebody didn't want to be seen with you because of the way you look? I really think you should consider peoples feelings and how hurtfull it can be to be singled out because you're a little different. You are probably missing out on being with a great guy but it's your choice.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (10 November 2010):
It worries me that your concern is not whether you like this guy, but what you think other people will say about his hair colour.
Do you like him back? That should be the real question.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 November 2010):
 What do you do? Your homework.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 November 2010):
What would people say? What would you say?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Please, pass him this way! I love red-hair! What do you care if he's ginger? If he's a wonderful man, a little thing like hair color means nothing. I personally find it stunning, especially long. So to answer your question, yes, it's quite shallow.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Wow, thank you on behalf the ginger boys of the world for that vote of confidence!
I don't know whether I've just led an exceptionally sheltered existence but I've got to my forties without, as far as I'm aware, ever having received a negative comment on my bright red hair. I love it. I wouldn't trade my hair for another colour if you offered me £100,000. I was delighted when my Chinese son came out with bright red hair too.
I've been lucky to live my life mainly in Africa, the Pacific and Asia where pretty much everyone has black hair and my red hair goes down wonderfully.
I think that your issue here is whether or not your man is a wuss. IF he is a wussy then bullies are going to pick on him for whatever is different about him and that could be his hair colour or his weight or his lisp. If he isn't a wuss then the bullies will stay away and the whole issue is a non-event.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 What are you talking about ? Red hair absolutely rock !Regardless of that, if you are worried about such a meaningless detail like his hair colour, I'd say you don't really like this guy so don't waste his time.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 November 2010):
To answer your question: yes you are shallow for letting the opinion of what people may or may not think influence you. It doesn't matter, as long as you love him. Besides, red hair can look really beautiful. Would you like him to ditch you if you had a rare attribute?
I'm sorry but this sounds like something a 12 y/o would write, not someone who is 36 or older. Are you sure you're that age? Because your post (no capitals, im instead of I'm) screams teenager.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I don't understand why this is even a concern. If you really like him, what other people think shouldn't matter. To be this worried over someone's hair colour is very shallow, in my opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Ok, my comments were removed because i might have been a bit harsh with you so i will say it a bit nicer. Yes, i personally do believe you are shallow and you should just leave this guy alone and find somebody else. He deserves better then somebody who would be ashamed of him over something as petty as hair colour.
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