Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): WOW - 5 years impotent AND NOW U R hurt that he hid this fact from U.Are you messed up or is he? I am a relationship expert and a majors in psychologist. your question tells me a few things:1. you have serious communication lag with your husband2. u come from humble background and now you are lost and inexperienced and seeking help from the www! 3. you don't have much relationship experience from your pre-marriage days.4. its no love marriage you had! 5. no marriage in the world guarantees sex forever...not more than 4-6 yrs. so some stray or find a larger meaning in there relationship.Cynthia
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): No you are not - It all depends honey.Does he love you and treat you well- then you can talk and work it out. After 2 husbands honey trust me i know how hard its to get a good man!
Yes - if he mistreats you and is physically abusing you and has no feelings for you then leave immediately.
Oh ya Hon,,,impotency is no longer a problem...it can be treated in a week or month in most cases. Best to talk it out and find out if there is something like stress or about you that is turning him away from you. luv Brinda
(P.S: if sex is what is making you leave him and he is aguddy guddy guy... that is just plain desperate and stupid.)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If you mean he is unable to have intercourse and never told you about his condition before marrying you, it may be the right decision.
Physical love is a relevant,intrinsic part of the marriage bond,
even the most traditional religions recognize that.
Your case would grant you annullment of the marriage if you were Catholic, or right to uncontested divorce if you were Muslim.
This is just an example, and you probably are neither.
Just to say that even very conventional social structures accept that sex IS a big deal in married life. And that not telling you about his condition before your marriage,
preventing you from making an informed choice, is a major breach of trust.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 By impotent do you mean he cannot father children or do you mean he can't get an erection?
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (21 December 2010):
I see they're beating you up on this issues but its yours to make alone. If I was him and honestly love you. I wouldn't be selfish enough to ask you to go with sex for gods know how long or ever again. He lied to you and didn't trust you enough to confide in you. What type of relationship do they think you have when he lies to you? Since you found out they're trying to make you feel guilty.
Please don't feel guilty about wanting to get laid, some people has giving there partner an open relationship like this. Have you discussed that avenue. I would discuss all option and how he may you feel by lying to you. I take it you went along time without sex and confronted him. Now do it again and tell him you want out of this marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I would not blame you if you want to leave him. If you love him then you don't. And if you feel that he had cheated you by not telling you the truth then you don't have to live with him. If you have any medical remedy you can also think about it.
Decide wisely!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): It might be an idea to go to the doctor and get some help for this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): So what happened to love your spouse?? So just because he is impotent he is no longer worthy of your love and attention as a wife??
Sorry but you sound like a real piece of work! Maybe if you were more of a sympathetic wife and helped him through his problems your marriage would be better.
I have no doubt that your husband deserves better than you!
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A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (21 December 2010):
Okay, your husband is impotent. It is your right and decision now to leave or stay. But please do not accuse your husband with this hostile attitude. Impotency is an inability like e.g. blindness. You may remain even good friends.
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A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If he misrepresented himself, and has no hope for a solution, then yes.
I'm curious though - why has it taken 5 years?
Be aware though - the shoe may be on the other foot at some point.
It's not uncommon for women to lose their sex drive when menopause hits, and sometimes it comes earlier than you think.
While that situation isn't the same as deliberately hiding a crucial fact, not all men are understanding, and may insist their nds be satisfied - by you, a proxy, or a replacement.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (21 December 2010):
Only you can answer this honestly. Do you want to be in a sex less marriage. If the answer is No then tell him the honest truth.
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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: