A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have our up and down in our relationship. We have just recent got back together and this time it really feels like things are going great and it's really working. However the timing is bad. Just yesterday he told me that his step dad has a problem with me coming over to his house. He was upset and he decide he is going to get his own place. He asked me to move in with him but there no way my mom is going to be okay with it. She want me to at least finish college until I moved out. And I still have 2 years left until I'm done. I told him to ask his guys friend to see what they say about rooming with him. None if them wanted to cause they are not financially stable either. But however he told me that one person say yes but he made me promise I wont be upset when he tells me who. But i didn't promise cause i kind of had a of knew who of it was. Its a girl!!!! On top of that it was his ex from 4 year ago. And now they are suppose to be BFF. I got really upset when he told me. I told him if that happens we're going to break up. But really didn't meant it like that!!!! But I am really hurt that he can't see why I am so upset. He told me I am inconsiderate. That I could see all the problem he dealing with now. If he doesn't get his own place with her then I won't ever come to his house again. I don't know what to do!!!!!? I really don't feel comfortable at all about this idea. What can I tell him to get him to understand where I'm coming from. He told me to put myself in his shoes and tell him what I would do. Please help me!!!! Right now I feel like if this happen I can't stand to be with him.
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female
reader, Sylph +, writes (14 February 2013):
Hi, well its a sticky situation indeed, and i've had to deal with minor situations concerning jealousy, but definitely not as complicated as this!
Well, you should keep in mind first of all, that he is in need of finding a roommate. IN NEED. But, the option was well..not so suitable for YOU. For him, i daresay he thinks its the best bargain he's made in his life! So technically, u can think of it as your bf using the girl to pay for a flat, and she wasn't his first choice anyways. It is however selfish of him to expect u to understand and tolerate this without complaint, for there had been previously romantic interaction between them, but 4 years is a long time don't you think? It took me 4 years to forget a best friend i was completely in love with for years, and now, i remember him with unnatural apathy, almost like i don't care whether he lives or dies... If you trust your bf with this, believe me, he will love and cherish you forever, because he knows it is hard for you to accept this, he will have a very high opinion of u if u do. If your bf however is a flirt, or has displayed signs of it u may want to keep an eye out for him, and if the girl is in a relationship, the better. I wish you luck, and soon, you will be able to move in with him and she will be gone with the wind:) have patience
A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (14 February 2013):
 If you are feeling bad about it and all he can do is scream "inconsiderate" then he's a pretty poor boyfriend. I'm sure even if he didn't move out, you guys can still hangout at your place. If he really wants to move out, he can find a rent buddy that is not his ex by just posting an advert in the paper or online.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guy for answering. We have been together for 2 years now. Somehow we keep finding our way back to each other no matter what the situation is. He and his ex from 4 years, was kind of talking to each other during one of our break up back in September. She kind of my friend to and I think she thinks that things was going process from there but he told me that he only talk to her cause he was lonely. But it was nothing at all. His ex asked my sister once why me and him still together because he doesn't deserve me and that he isn't any good for me. This was after outbreak up in September. Then things started to get really hard and was better to be apart at the moment and we decide to break up, that was at the beginning of November. After that I didn't talk to him for like 2 months. And I was middle January when he called me and wanted to talk about us. We talks things through and got back together. And this was when he told me that he and his ex is now BFF and it was her who told him that he should contact me because it was obvious we still love each other. So I don't know what her deals. I can't move out cause I'm am nowhere near finically stable. I only work 2 day a week cause I haves school and so does he. I am Asian my mom is very traditional and it not good to move out unless your marry. But in my mom case she only expected me to find college first. Therefore I have no clue what is the right thing to do.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 February 2013):
 You are right to consider dumping his sorry a$s.
How would you have reacted if he had come by with a gas can and said to you: "I'm not sure if this thing is empty. Let me light a match and put it in the opening so that I can see the level inside"??????
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 trust your gut..
i'm old school and I would not be happy if my partner was living with a member of the opposite sex.. especially an ex
you are over 18... is there a reason you have to do what your mommy wants? does she pay your school bills?
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