A
female
age
26-29,
*raykie_babi
writes:im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best friend and my boy friend.im scared of what people will think of me being pregnate at such a young age.you see im 13 and he is 14. space and money aint the problum,it is im not ready and i feel like im forced to have this baby.he has already picked out names and he wants a boy!! but im still deciding to keep him/her or have an abortion.it will be so hard to tell my parents and famliy,i think my friends at school wont like me anymore.do i sound ready for this baby?please tell me,im so nervus...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 Im sorry for you, it's hard to have a miscarriage. You should talk to a school nurse or your doctor about it, even if you never tell your parents. Just to make sure you're fine and there's no medical issues, and to deal with the stress and feelings of loss.
Good luck to you. Everything happens for a reason they say. Be careful from now on and take care of yourself.
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female
reader, draykie_babi +, writes (28 January 2011):
draykie_babi is verified as being by the original poster of the question i had a miscarrage...im happy though,im too young.also i never had a chance to tell my parents.and never will.thanks for the help though.
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female
reader, youngmum89  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 i am so happy to hear that you've decided to keep your baby, i hope you baby brings you so much happiness as my son has done the same
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 December 2010):
Just to be Capt Obvious - you cannot even constuct a sentence in standard English and you are asking if you are ready to have a baby or not......
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (10 December 2010):
kate1219 your complete wrong here. This is statutory rape on both sides here and there’s a status for having sex with a underage minor. The state of Georgia has a 10 minimum sentences for this. The law doesn’t discriminate because of age. Her parent is her guardian therefore the judge will comply with the parents. What judge will hand a child over to a 13 year old girl to raise that’s completely insane.“Your parents shouldn't have to be the ones that pay” A judge can order parents to pay child support in this case if he deems they were neglectful.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 @ Kate 1219 : it depends in which State the OP lives. Some States have so called "Romeo and Juliet clauses " for
statutory rape ( when both are under age and their age difference is low ).
Some don't and if the adults press charges ( not that they would, I imagine ) there are lots of very unpleasant stuff to deal with. Including being inscribed in the Register of Sex Offenders. Nice start in life.
Not to say that this is what gonna happen to our OP, to whom in fact I wish the best, a happy healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby.
But just not to let the message pass that getting pregnant at 13 is no big deal .
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): That's nor true. You can't go to jail for having a baby and no one can take it from you unless you don't do the right things. I hope you guys really prepare for this baby and that means a lot more then just buying stuff. There way more!!! Talk to you parents and they might help you prepare emotionally and educational. I hope you and your bf take parenting classes. And at 14 your bf can get a special working permit ( at least here in ny) and he needs to get a job. Because you want to be parents and that's part of the deal. Your parents shouldn't have to be the ones that pay
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (10 December 2010):
You two could be in some serious trouble if your parents overact to this. You two aren’t old enough to consent to what you have done. Your parents would have all say in this and actually take this child from you and raise it as her own. Not one judge on earth would go against your parents. You two could go to juvenile for this or worst. You need to talk with your parents and soon.
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female
reader, draykie_babi +, writes (10 December 2010):
draykie_babi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys.i think i made my dicision,i want to keep my baby.i talked it over with my boyfriend and we are going to keep it.i havent told my parents yet but i will soon.me and my bff went to the store and bought some baby clothes and shoes.she is so exited that im going to keep jennifer/eian.thank you so much (youngmom89) your the one who helped me make my dicision. :). and as an eairly baby shower gift my best friend bought me a bassinet for my baby. i already have names picked out. jennifer lillian beth for a girl and eian keith for a boy.thank you again youngmom89 you just opened my eyes to my future.and i told two more of my friends and they still love me as they always have.although they were upset that i thought that they would disown me.it is all kewl now.:)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): There’s nothing anyone can say that will make it right or wrong, because as a conscious being you will ultimately make that decision for yourself, whether or not others influence you. You have to do what feels right for yourself, your boyfriend, and the life now inside of you. If you abort, it may be an action you will regret for the rest of your life, or you may be someone who doesn't really feel too bad about it - I know of both types of people. You are so young also, when I was 13 an ex-girlfriend had a miscarriage, it’s not directly the same situation but nevertheless I will never stop wondering what my child would have looked like, done in his/her life, and a million other questions. Although, I was always more mature than others during my earlier teenage years, and I don’t say that with egotism but rather the point that my outlook towards what had happened at the time was very emotional simply because I was appreciating what was going on, despite being that young. All of my male friends at the time weren’t supportive, but what typical 13-15 year old is or knows how to be at that age? If your boyfriend is the rare mature type for his age, supportive, committed, and you really believe he will stand by you throughout, also both of you putting the baby first and dedicating your love and emotion, then it can work. I don’t particularly support the idea of an abortion, perhaps from personal experiences…however being spiritual I believe a life should be free to enter this realm of experiences, though on the other hand, it’s not fair to knowingly subject him/her to a bad life, education and upbringing. A baby can bring a lot of joy and it doesn't mean your social/future career life just ends, it can make you stronger and you may just have to work a little harder to find a solution. A quote from Baz Lurhman: "The race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself" - it's relevant to this topic as you may feel like all the things you want to do will now become unattainable because of the prospect of a child, but that isn't necessarily the case. It can be a very confusing time but from what I've realized in life is that anything is possible with the determination and willpower, it’s about believing that and not what anyone tells you. Being happy and doing what’s right is how you should live, unfortunately that it is seldom understood let alone realizing how to at a young age…at least most of the time
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female
reader, metalheadmom +, writes (9 December 2010):
 There is no way either of you can handle a child - you both are still kids yourself. You would have to stay with family, and that always causes stress. Where do you think either one of you will be in 5 years? If you can get jobs, they will be lowing paying with no future. Living off of assistance means low rent neighborhoods, bad schools, and never making anything of yourselves. That's no way to raise a child, and no way to spend what should be some of the best years of your life.
Being a good parent is so much more than just giving birth. If you have doubts now, you will always regret going against your own intuition, and trust me, the child will suffer the most from that. That is not something you can ever hide. Sure, your boyfriend thinks it's great - NOW, but I seriously doubt he will once he realizes what all is involved later on. And, he is not the one who will have to raise it either. Don't do anything because of him, or because of anyone - do what you decide because it is the right thing to do.
I got pregnant at 19, and there was no way I wanted to strap myself down by having a child at that point in my life. Besides, my Mother strongly advised me not to do it as well, and told me she would not help me if I decided to keep it. That was more than enough for me to decide not to go through with it. Abortion certainly is not fun, but it's not as bad as people say it is. To this day, I do not regret my decision.
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 No, you don't sound ready for a baby. Nobody is truly ready, even 30 year olds who have been trying for a couple years can have problems accepting the fact that they are going to be parents.
You are a very young girl, under the age of legal consent in your country. You live with your parents and don't make your own money so you will be living off them. You aren't even old enough to claim benefits. I don't know how it work in the US for sure, but in th UK you wouldn't even be your own child's legal guardian because you are a minor.
I can imagine how you are feeling because I have been in a very similar situation to you not long ago, although I am in my 20's.
What you need to do now, is see a professional who can give you as much information as possible about your options. Go to planned parenthood or a center like that. They will be more than happy to sit down with you and talk through everything. I have even heard that they call parents if you are too scared too. Telling your parents is crucial right now. You can see a doctor or make medical appointments without their presence.
Abortion is an option which you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed to take. There are women who are harassed into it, those are the people who you often hear horrid stories from because it wasn't their choice. However, the termination I had, I do not regret and do not feel bad for. People assume people who have had abortions must sleep round and use it as a method of birth control, this is not true for the majority of people.
Whatever you decide, the option must be yours at the end. Your boyfriend shouldn't be pressuring you into keeping it when you don't feel able to. Your mental health is important too. And at your age, neither of you are ready for the stresses and trails of a child. It only stays a little baby for a very short time. You will never stop being a parent, even when your child moves out.
Sum up the pros and cons of each decision and make the best one for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): you are proberbly really scared by now and you will be worrid it is all right for them to say have an abortion or you are not ready or tell your parents but it is your life to be honest i am ready for a baby but i am going to wait because its not just my life it would effect it would be the babies. just think about talking to someone who is a bit older it doesnt have to be ur parents straight away it could be a teacher or a conceller but u need to discuss this with an adult it will make you feel better no matter what you decide your friends if they are good friends and your parents will love u all the same.
just do what is right for you no one can make this choice for you but they could help make things clearer
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): I'm not telling you to have an abortion, but trust me you do not want to have this baby. Talk to your Mom or contact and planned parenthood and they have counselors that help you through something like this and they don't talk to your parents if you don't want them to. Your boyfriend obviously has no clue what its like to have a baby. It's your choice forget what he says, if you feel your not ready then your not ready.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 The fact that you're posting this means you're not.
If you don't want the baby DON'T HAVE IT. It's your choice, and your choice alone.
If you want to have an abortion, that's alright. And it's perfectly understandable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Having lost a child I personal don't agree with abortions. But im also not jugemental of other peoples beliefs. I think the best thing you can do is talk to your parent. They will be upset. But right now you have baby inside of you, and you need to handle the situation properly. Your parents will forgive you. They will help you make choice that is best for you, it may be adoption or abortion or some hiw work something else out. But at the end ofthe day it is you choice and you have to be grown up enough.to lookinginto the future. You have to live with the choice you make no matter what that choice is.And your bf is excited because he has no idea what being a parent is. Or what he will miss out. Trust me kids are not supose to be parents.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): You really are too young. You must talk to your parents now. Boyfriends come and go but babies are forever. This is not a game. Really - talk to your parents
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): I realise for you that this situation is scary and new, we are all afraid of the great unknown. It would appear to me that you are both underage and obviously pressure has been placed upon you. Despite the fact that you are pregnant you are really too young to go through with it. I know that having a child is a real hard job from day one, it might be difficult but you wil need to get an abortion...your boyfriend himself is too young and selfish to understand the concept and if you have this child it will put an enormous amount of stress on both of you. What i am saying is that in the long run there is an average of 88% of young couples who have children have split before there childs first birthday, so basically if you have this child you are looking at a future on your own raising the child, if you were older (and i mean much older) you could have considered your options. Imagine what your parents and his parents would say, imagine the reputation you two would earn?? Im sorry but its so much to consider an abortion would be the way forward, if you know that you can tell your parents and they will support you every step of the way then sure, but no parent is going to understand at the age you are, this will surely cause hassle and grief throughout the whole of your families. Please consider everything before another life is brought into this war bound, global warming, doomed earth. Is there much of a future for you and your boyfriend and unborn child if you do go for it? look at all your available options and consider carefully. THIS IS YOUR FUTURE. good luck to you and your situation.
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female
reader, youngmum89 +, writes (9 December 2010):
i fell pregnant when i was 15, i was afraid of what people might say to me i hid it from everyone until i was 5 months gone, i new i didnt want to have an abortion or give him away i wouldnt be able for it wen the time came to give him away, when i had him i got the biggest rush of love, i do not regret a thing i'm 21 now and he is nearly 6 he's great, you learn alot about urself wen you become a mom, i loved teaching him how to walk and crawl and talk, he's in school he's just great he plays sports on a saturday and he's brilliant at that, i would never be able to give up a baby no matter what the circumstances were, i think you should think long and hard about your decision, because if you decide straight away that your going to give it up, your going to regret it in the long run...
i hope this helps
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): No you're not ready, you should have kept your legs together!.
As for men not developing brains until 25, is because they develop even further. Men on average are always more mature that women past that age.
btw, the would is pregnant not pregnate. Pregnate is what your bf did to you.
Tell your parents as soon as you can! Your bf is just a boy, adults need to know about what has happened!
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female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (9 December 2010):
You are not ready for a baby. you are far too young.
higher risk of premature delivery
higher risk of birth defects
higher risk of fetal death
higher risk of birth complications
higher risk of c-section delivery
higher risk of maternal death
higher risk of poor infant and maternal nutrition
Hope it helps.
Rate if you like
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (9 December 2010):
 It is your choice and yours only! you just need to know the facts before you make a decision.
You are very young
Having a baby may stop you going to school or affect your school work.
Time with friends will be over for a long time.
The boyfriend may leave then you could a single parent
Babies wake up in the night and need constant attention.
Please think properly
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 December 2010):
No you're not ready for a baby. You're not even ready to have sex. You really have no experience in life, you're not educated, and you say space and money is not a problem? It might be. Your brain isn't even developed to it's fullest, it won't be until you are around 23, and for men it's not until they are 25. Your boyfriend doesn't UNDERSTAND what a baby means. He might think he does, but he doesn't. He has no idea.
Talk to your parents as soon as possible. Only adults know what would be an adult decision to make, you're still a child. And stop having sex until you are ready, please, theres always a risk of pregnancy when you have sex, and if you're not ready for a child then you are not ready for sex either!
Talk to your parents.
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