A
female
age
41-50,
*aggieMc
writes:I am in my mid thirties. I am seeing a guy with the past year. He is very reluctant to meet my family(my sister lives up the road) I did meet his family at xmas after alot of fighting on my behalf. On one occassion he was dropping me off at my sisters as my car was there after we been on holidays he helped me out with my bag and then literally ran off!!! I have a family occassion coming up and have not mentioned it yet(christening) he knows it will be coming up soon but I haven’t given a date to him as of yet as I am afraid he will say he is working or will be going up the country to meet his family. I just wondering am I over thinking this or is it that he is not that serious about us and doesn’t see any real future. Before xmas I said we were in a relationship and that involves meeting my family, if he isn’t that serious about us then he needs to tell me. Any views on this would be appreciated. Cheers, Maggie
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): You said you have already talked to him about this. If he is not religous or of a different religion then perhaps expecting him to go to a family christening may not be appropriate. I never asked anyone I dated to attend weddings, funerals or christenings/baptisms with me unless they showed interest. I lived with a man for four years who didn't want to attend my father's funeral but less than a year into the relationship his mother died and I was there for him. Needless to say the relationship didn't work. You both have to accept each other and that includes family. I'd test him out on a family reunion or close family get together and if he digs his heels in I'd move on.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Yeah, I agree that it's time to meet the family. I've found people's relationships with their own family often influence their desire to meet their partner's family. People put different importance on family.
I think Aunt Honesty is right, you need to have a talk about this. It doesn't necessarily mean he's not that serious, but he needs to understand why it's important to you.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "my sister lives up the road" how far up the road? When I lived in the desert "up the road" could mean 5 miles away.
"I did meet his family at xmas after alot of fighting on my behalf." What did he say when you asked him why he didn't want you to meet his family. Is there anything unusual about his family that would embarrass him?
"he helped me out with my bag and then literally ran off" What did he say when you asked him why he "ran off"?
Tell him about the "christening" as soon as possible and that it is important to you that he be there with you. If he has to work I'm thinking he will take the time off. I'm just 1 man but I'm thinking a "christening" would take an hour maybe two at the most. If he knows it's important to you that he be there with you then he will do whatever it takes to be there with you as a couple. If he doesn't do this then I think it's time to have a heart to heart about the direction you two are headed.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 You met his family so I think he is taking you seriously. Many men get a little nervous and chicken out when they have to meet the family. Many times its not because they don't want to meet them but because they are worried about if her family is going to accept them. I say don't worry to much about it and talk to him and when he does meet the family tell your family to welcome him in and make him feel comfortable.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 February 2011):
 The best thing you can do is talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. If you have both been together now a year well then its probably time he met your family. It could be just a case of he is nervous about meeting them. Talk to him about it and ask him how he feels and tell him it would mean a lot to you if he would go to the christening with you. Goodluck.
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