A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've jus recently started dating some one who i've been crushing on for 5 years..and it's been a month..everythings lovey dovey but when he doesn't answer his calls or doesn't reply i get peranoid he's up to something..I know i'm over reacting but when i ask and say, i just get told that i'm the only girl,and he wants to sepnd forever with me..but then why not get in touch,and when we meet its all physical,never talking.I've heard what hes like, he's not one to stay in along relationship, is this why i'm scared?, or am i too obsessed about losing him..?help.I don't know why i'm soo paranoid..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): i understand if u think that u over reacting, coz i've experienced that too. But you know what? actually it all depends on what type of guy he is. 3 years a go i have a very lovely boyfriend (and now i fetch up with him again), but sometimes he didn't pick up my call, but later i found out that actually he was busy or doing smth important. And after i broke up with him (sh*t always happens), i got together with a boy, that sometimes also didn't pick up my call. later i found out that he was doin it purposely, and he only called me when he wanted to meet me or made some date. he is a liar. so u better find out what type of guy he is.gud luck!!
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (22 July 2007):
 He won't appreciate it if you constantly phone him or text him, he might come to the decision that you are obsessing over him and he might back away, and he also might think you don't trust him enough. You said yourself here though: It's all physical,not talking. What does that say to you? It seems like he is only interested in one thing, and keeps you sweet just for this, like he only wants you when he pleases.Do something about this.xxx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I think you're insecure about the relationship. You should work on this.
I agree with 88jane: if you call too often, you'll smother him and obviosly he won't want to take your calls.
You mention he is not exactly a guy to stay in relationships. Maybe this is the origin of your insecurity. But, if he doesn't like to stay, your calling will not make any difference for the better.
Maybe you should think carefully what kind of a relationship you have and how you can make it work. And you should talk to him, too.
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A
female
reader, x.Helpful.Cupid.x +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Ok.
This is an excellent question for me to answer. Because i too get extremly paranoid when im in a relationship, & also because i recently broke up with my boyfriend who sounds quite similar to yours.
First of all, i was like that, carrying my phone everywhere incase he calledor texted, but in the end its pointless, if there up to something, we will find out. Full stop.
He sounds like a typical charmer. Also, i know this is about you, but in my relationship it was also mainly physical, & we found it difficult to have an actual conversation. Im not sure what to say about it apart from try to talk more, but if he dosent want to hear it, confront him, you cant go on for that long without communication.
If you've heard stuff, its more than likely going to be a rumour, but be careful, dont get too attached.
I suggest you just be extremly cool about the whole text thing. Turn off your phone for the first couple of days to stop yourself texting/calling then turn it back on & perhaps send a breif text saying hi & arrange to meet up or something, then try the whole conversation thing.
See what happenes.
Let me know how it goes. xxx
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (22 July 2007):
 If your relationship with your boyfriend is mainly physical then it's not much of a relationship but you have to understand that at this age guys are mostly interested in girls for one thing-sex! If they are in a relationship with a girl they are going to want sex, whereas girls are usually more focused on wanting to spend time with the guy and talking!, thats just the way it usually is at this age! but this isn't much fun for you! Try and talk to him and tell him that you want a relationship not just a physical relationship!, if he doesnt like you saying this then its just proof he wants you for one thing only!In regards to not replying to your calls, this may also indicate he's only intersted in you for one thing. But how often are you trying to call him?, you dont want to seem like a stalker and scare him away! give him room to breathe and you may find he does reply when you contact him!.If you already know that hes not a relationship type of guy then yes you could be paranoid because you may think that this relationship means more to you than it does to him! the only thing you can really do is give him some space and then talk to him!Hope my advice helps hun! xxx
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