A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, im having quite a bit of love life trouble. 4 months ago i split up with my girlfriend (who we'll call EMMA) of 2 and a half years. she was my first love and we loved each other very much. the main trouble in the relationship was that she has a toddler and i just couldnt come to accept him as a big part of my life due to history between me and emma and also the childs father and family. so i called it off. the terrible thing is that me and emma were still very much in love. she was my best friend and we got on great together, of course we argued but generally we were great together. the break up period was very emotional for both of us, we both shed plenty of tears but i decided i needed time away from emma to try n figure out what i wanted. 4 months later and im still no further. i still love her and she still loves me, we call each other most days and talk like were still together. the thing is emma was my best friend, we got on great, i kno she loved me loads, she would tell my friends how much she loved me, she would literally do anythin and everythin for me and always ran around after me. to me she is 1 in a million, but i cant figure out whether she actually is or not because she is my first and only love. i kno a lot of people and iv met and been with a number of girls since our split but theres not one that i think could come close to emma. iv got it into my head that il meet the perfect girl, good looking, great body, good job etc, no kids, and someone il get on with great. but now 4 months later im doubting this wonder woman for me even exists. what i want to know is will i ever meet someone who made me as happy as emma did or is emma genuinely my 1 in a million and i shud get back with her before its too late?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (23 August 2009):
I know you have some issues with there being a child in the middle of your relationship but i have to agree with Sphronas. I had that one in a million a man who was my best friend and i would do anything to be by his side day and night. its been 5 months since we have spoken but if he were to come to me in 5 years and ask me to be with him i would even if he had a child. Sometimes love comes with obstacles but this is not her fault. Really try and think if you made the right choice by ending things.
A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (23 August 2009):
Your wonder woman clearly exists and you know it is Emma. Your problem is not with her but with her small son. You are still young, so it is perfectly understandable that it is difficult to accept a child into your life, especially if you have issues with that child's father. However, part of growing up is learning to cope with difficult situations. If you really love Emma, then you can learn to love and accept her child as a part of her, and you can also learn to cope with the fact that the father of her child will always be a part of her life. In ten years, none of these problems will seem worth mentioning to you, but if you and Emma always treat each other with love and respect, your relationship will still be strong. And who knows -- her son might even have some brothers and sisters by then whose proud father YOU will be.
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