A
male
age
41-50,
*oe31
writes:Hey:My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago because I was studying for my medical boards (the 6 months prior) and she grew apart due to the time away (saw her once a month during that time and very stressful for me).The last time we spoke (two weeks ago) I was pushy about our relationship status and she got pretty harsh on the phone and I got the message. I decided on "No Contact" and did not text, email, call, etc for 10 days.During those 10 days, she called me three times, sent a text, and yesterday she sent me another text message and I responded.The below is the text and my response:Her: "I get it that your not talking to me and that you dont ever want to hear from me but I know this can be a stressful week for you so I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and I'm here if you need anything."Me: "Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I have been really busy. Hope all is well and thanks for the support."Her: "Didn't know if it was appropriate to contact you. Figured there was a reason why you weren't getting back to me."Me: "No worries. Tell (her dog) I said hi."Her, "We (her and her dog) have had a lot of bonding time this weekend and she is still super cute."That said, I am totally confused now. My medical boards results come out the end of this week so that is probably her "reason" for calling so much. That said, her texting, "I'm thinking about you and I'm here if you need anything" is eating at me. She sent a text last week saying she was thinking of me then too. I want to reconcile with this girl but I also don't want her to string me along until she finds someone else. Am I looking way too much into her text? Is she giving me an opportunity to call her and talk? Should I continue with the No contact if I want to reconcile (she broke up with me)? Moreover, should I text her the results of my medical boards or just let it go?Any advice would be great.
View related questions:
broke up, ex girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 DUDE!
You can make time no doubt! Even if you let her hang around while youre studying!
Even if its once a week you go and do something like an outing or so.
I know studying takes allot of time but whats say 6 hours in a 168 hour week?
A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (5 October 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood posts from everyone. She just called me again today and I let it go to voicemail.
The problem is that for a few weeks before the breakup I did the pleading, reasoning, told her how much I loved her, explained that the med exams are only a few months and I will make it up to her, etc.....and she said she didn't care and I had to move on.
Therefore, after spilling my heart previously, I just don't want to do it again. She dumped me and I think she has to be the one this time to reach out beyond just a phone call.
tough situation....thank you all for your advice.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is what women do when they know you can live without them. If you had shown that you needed her support to write your exam she could have strayed farther away. Since she knew you were writing your medical exams, she should have been there to support you. Ignore her for 1 or 2 weeks then ask her out if you are in a good mood. If she does not want to go out, forget about her completely and move to someone else. Focus instead on getting a good job and someone who really loves you. Dont focus on her texts and do other fun things like going out with friends, adventures, dancing etc. Show that you have a life and meet other girls (just as friends). If she sees you have a life, she'll come back. However, follow your intuition. If you feel she is just hanging on to you till she finds someone else, you should similarly look for someone else. Its painful when love is not mutual, but that is life.
...............................
A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (5 October 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe sent me a picture text of her dog that read..."such a smart looking girl!"
6 months into our dating her first dog was killed by a car after it bolted out of the front door of the house. Within a week I found the current dog at a rescue and my ex-girlfriend and I both love her very much.
I think its messed up she would send photos like that....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Man, just get on the phone and talk! you both sound like reasonable adults, just let it come straight from the heart. You cannot go wrong with the truth, a sincere apology if appropriate. Life is too short for you to be asking a bunch of strangers on the internet whether to make a phone call. Do it! Good luck
x
...............................
A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (5 October 2010):
 You're not looking way too much into her text. Girls often want to explain themselves, get an explanation, and don't like things just hanging out there unresolved. Yes, she is giving you an opportunity to talk. If you want to reconcile, then don't call her until you get your results and use that as a reason to call her. These few days of no contact will help both of you. If you don't want to reconcile then you must continue with the no contact and don't even tell her the results of your boards, as that will only open the door for her to enter in.
...............................
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (5 October 2010):
Go get her!!
Sounds like she's regretting the split as much as you.
Call her and find out whats going on!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): She broke up with you because of your lack of time for her but she's reaching out to you because she still cares. Your ignoring her calls, etc tells her you don't want to be bothered with her. I'm the type of person who believes no matter how busy you are or how all consuming something may be in your life, you make time for the things and people who are important to you. No wonder she broke up with you. Now is the time to correct that.
I recommend you reach out to her and let her know how you feel about her and your desire to reconcile, regardless of any hidden message that may or may not be there in her text/calls. She wanted you to call her back or answer her calls but you didn't. If you want to be with her don't stick to this "no contact" thing. That's like playing games. Just be direct. When you call her...not text...you can let her know of your boards results and tell her how you feel...
Good luck! :)
...............................
|
