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I want to be with him, but I don't want to be obvious about it!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *adgirlovesong writes:

I was with a guy for 3 years, and we broke up in February. In the beginning we loved each other, but there was a lot of arguing throughout. That is why within those 3 years, I broke up with him three times because I was not happy and I thought I could find better. He tried to keep me around the last time I broke up with him and said not to leave, but I had to. Then about 2 months later (April), I called him about a death of one of our friend's, and he explained what happened, but then told me to live my life as if he never existed...and he thanked me for the fact that "now he has to be alone the rest of his life."

I want to write him a letter saying that now that I finally had actual time to be on my own (8 months), and dated, my thoughts run back to him, and i wanted to write how much i appreciated what he did for me and how i wish things were different.

I guess i just need advice, or encouragement. I want to be with him, but I dont want to be obvious about it. I wrote in the beginning of the letter that "Im not looking for a response" but really I am. Either this can turn into an amazing 180, or it can be the type of closure that I need.

Let me know what you think.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010):

I think you've forgotten the arguing and I think it would be the same if you were together again. I think time has passed and you are remembering the good bits without acknowledging the bad bits. He sounds a bit needy and seems to put emotional pressure on you.

You could just be straight with him and ask if you can meet to talk through your feelings. It could be beneficial for both of you. But generally, if it didn't work out before, I don't see a happy ending now.

x

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