A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was molested when I was really small and I'm about to get married in a months time..... and now I'm just worried if I am going to bleed on my wedding night when I have sex? Am I going to bleed or not? And will the guy be able to tell whether I bleed or not during sex on my wedding nite?NEED HELP!PLZ!! ASAP....
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female
reader, CandyCakes  +, writes (17 March 2009):
The questions really lies in whether or not your hymen is intact. If you had vaginal intercourse as a child, it could be damaged a little bit or be gone entirely.
If it was damaged, then you will likely still bleed. But it is possible that it was entirely gone due to earlier incidents. To find the answer, look between your legs with a mirror. If the opening of the vagina is covered or partially covered by a thin membrane, then you will bleed.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (17 March 2009):
 Do you know your future husband well, or is this an arranged marriage?
The reason I asked is because chances are he would be more understanding if you know your fiance well (and thus you can confide in him to alleviate any upsetting surprises for him).
If he knows you well, it will take no efforts at all to make him understand that what happended when you were little was not your fault. In fact, it will make him a better father in protecting the daughters he will have with you.
If this is an arranged marriage, it might take slightly more effort. What you can do is get as many articles as possible which shows that even virgins with intact hymens vary in their bleeding on the first nite. "Educate" him on it, afterwards, or very subtly now to sort of "prepare him to have an open mind".
As Gina said, some bled very little, or hardly, some a lot. Also, other factors can affect it, including tearing during intensive sports activities (particularly for competitive athletes), or even accidents when one was little (e.g. falling off a manggo tree branch 5 meters off the ground, or bicycle accidents, etc etc). If your family chose a man from a good family, he will not mind either way (small bleed or lots of bleed)
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Cat
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): Some women bleed and some women do not bleed when they first have sex. Im sorry that you've had such a horible experience in your younger years but this should not altimately define an outcome either way as to whether you will or will not bleed during sex with your new husband.
I hope that you are psychologically ready for sex with him and i really wish you all the best, again, there is no way to tell if you will bleed or not - many women don't, some might.
Im sorry i couldnt be more helpful...
best of luck to you x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): I know in your culture that might be something that is important to your new husband but I will tell you the truth, he will be more focused on whether or not you felt good and his orgasm, not whether or not you bled. So don't worry. If you make it fun and tell him how happy you felt, nothing else will matter....
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