A
female
age
30-35,
*omaceyrenee
writes:Hello,I'm a 22 year old single mother. I haven't dated much and it's been 2 years since my last serious relationship. I recently met a guy at the mall a few weeks ago. Well we have been texting the past couple weeks and then this past Wednesday we went on a date. He took me out to Starbucks for coffee then we went to a little outside Christmas park thing and we walked through the lights then sat on a bench and he played the guitar and even sang some songs to me. He's really into music and he even tried teaching me a few things about his guitar. Well afterwards we ended up going to my house (I live with my mom, yes I'm old. But honestly I would be so lonely if I moved out alone. Plus she watches my daughter while I work.) Anyway, afterthe park and stuff he asked what I wanted to do, so I figured he didn't want to end the night yet. We ended up going to my house and eating pizza while watching a movie and talking with my mom and little girl. I didn't plan on him meeting my daughter yet but it was later in the evening and there wasn't much to do. He got along with my family great and he even told my daughter he would teach her how to play the new guitar she was getting here soon.. when he finally headed home at 1:00am he kissed me goodbye and he text me saying he looked forward to hanging out again. Since we started talking he's always taken a little while to respond to texts because he also works and goes to school which I completely understand. But he didn't text me all day the next day after our date until about 11:30 at night. He asked how my day was and that he just got off work. Well I replied like 20 minutes later and I don't get a response till 11 the next morning saying he didn't see my text and he was with friends. I kinda thought it was rude for him to text once and then ignore me. Like obviously he didn't wanna talk or otherwise how could he forget he text me.. I didn't say anything about it though and we text throughout the day with him taking his usual 1-2 hours to reply. Later that evening around 9 he stopped replying altogether and I woke up to a text from him at 4am saying he passed out before he even took a shower and that he'd talk to me later, he worked 9-7;30 the next day. Well he seemed more short in that text, not the usually "goodnight beautiful:)" or "ttyl cutie :)" and now it's been 3 days with no word from him. He didn't text me on Christmas or anything but I sent him a snap on snapchat saying merry Christmas, he sent one back but that was it. I thought it would open up an invitation for a conversation but nothing. I deleted him on facebook yesterday out of pettiness which was stupid but I was sort of upset. Because I don't allow myself to attach to someone because I've been burned in the past. He's also only 19, almost 20, so I'm afraid he may be a little too immature. I'm afraid to text him first because what if this his way of saying he's not interested anymore? I know I'm probably jumping the gun but I'm not sure on what to do.. Should I text him or leave it?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (31 December 2016):
 Mothers can have fun, but I really don't think a 19 year old is they right way to have that fun. Either way, no guy who's just for fun should be around your daughter.
A
female
reader, Xomaceyrenee +, writes (31 December 2016):
Xomaceyrenee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello and to the responses above, yes I just turned 22 and yes I do live with my mother, not because I'm immature or not able to live on my own but because my mom was in a bad car accident, she was ran over by a semi in her car and she actually died twice. They had to resuscitate her.shes disabled so I help out at home with the bills and she watches my daughter when I'm at work and school, not because I can't afford daycares but because I don't trust them & I feel much safer with my mom watching her. Also I did let him know when we first started texting that I had a small daughter and I asked if that was a problem and if it was I would understand. He said no, not at all. So he knew from the jump I was a mother. My mom was at the store in the plaza by Starbucks and she had called me to ask a question. It was Christians idea to say hello to her in the parking lot because he had already met her at the mall. She told him maybe he could come by the house and visit sometime. & when we couldn't find much else to do he asked if I lived close and suggested we go to my house. I didn't bring him there right away and that wasn't my intention. As I mentioned I rarely ever date because I'm busy with my child and work. I don't bring men in and out of her life.. I would assume that if he was scared off he wouldn't have wanted to go to my house & hang out for a couple hours. I was the one who said it was time for me to go to sleep. And he even text me that night saying how much fun he had and that he wanted to hang out again. One would assume that if he wasn't interested he probably wouldn't have sent that text and then text me for the next two days? I would think he'd start ignoring me right then. And yes it was immature and petty to delete him, but when I sent him a friend request he accepted it. I have a lot of friends on facebook and a couple good friends that are males that comment or post on my timeline. And I was wondering if maybe that changed his mind. Maybe he thought I was talking to other guys even though they're only my friends. I'm not sure. But I haven't heard a peep from him and I'm thinking I'll send him a text tonight. However I do think he might be too immature. So it's probably never gonna be anything serious. I get that. But there's nothing wrong with having fun. Some of the people who post on here are downright rude. You've read a paragraph and think you know me enough to call me immature or judge me? Obviously I own up to my wrongs as far as deleting him and I specifically stated I know he's busy and that I understand if it takes awhile too text back, but I wouldn't think it'd take a week to text me. Jeez. Such judgemental assholes. Smh. & to the two comments who were actually respectful and helpful, thank you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): At 19, he's not ready for a girl like you. Whether he's interested or not, he'll end up disappointing you. You'll need someone more mature and a few years older.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 December 2016):
 I say leave it. He knows how to get a hold of you, he even knows where you live. Maybe he was just a tad overwhelmed by the thought of getting involved with a single mother who is living with her own mother. And who can blame a 19 year old guy for that?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 December 2016):
 Please just leave it. He's just a kid, barely out of his teens and no offence but you don't seem very good at making decisions. You're a very young mother living with your own mother; you should be looking at raising your daughter as well as you can and being independent as soon as possible. You have a child dependant on you, set a good example for her.In any case, exactly what did you think would come out of dating this man-child? Did you really think that meeting a 19 year at the mall would materialize into something meaningful?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 December 2016):
 It looks like you two lead very different lives. One the one hand, this young lad (because that is all he is at 19) has a busy life, with school, work and friends. On the other hand, you appear to have nothing else than this lad you have known for 2 minutes. Despite your age difference (I have always believed females mature faster than males) and the fact you are a mother, you appear to act very immaturely. Deleting someone from social media because they haven't replied to your text in the time frame you expected? Inviting someone back to your house, who you have only just met, to meet your family, including your child?I would strongly recommend you look at different ways to fill up your time, not just relying on this young lad.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): Just leave it. I don't think he's too interested. It was probably too soon for him to meet your child but it's good that you did because now you know he's iffy and not built for a long term relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): It all sounded like it was good. Sounded really nice in fact. He's busy with work. He texts a good amount I would say. Not too much and in your face, but enough. It's Christmas time so he could well be too busy with family to be able to connect with you at the moment. You hardly know each other and he texts you regularly. He responds when you contact him, but just because he can't carry on the conversation, you think there's something wrong. He seems to really like you and also be a nice, normal, stable man. You, on the other hand, hit the self destruct button to protect yourself at the slightest thing. Unblock him for goodness sake and if he gets in touch and mentions it say it was a mistake or something. I would wait for him to get in contact with you though, that way you'll know that he wants to talk to you. Maybe he will and maybe he won't but if he does, try to relax and take it as it comes, because to me it all sounds very nice :-)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (28 December 2016):
Firstly, a lot of people your age still live at home because it's expensive to move out.Anyway, to the actual issue: in the nicest possible way, you need to think like a mother, not a teenager. He's a bit young to become a role model to your daughter, if things get serious.As for his texting, lots of people forget to reply, even to their spouse or someone they're seriously dating. My boyfriend goes to work and university, sometimes forgetting to text me for a few hours. It happens. You're new to each other and he's free to do other things, while you're a bit more restricted.I'd keep him (and any future boyfriends) away from your daughter for at least 8 months because it seems like this relationship won't have much of a future and he'll kindly make "promises" to your daughter (with the best intentions) that he can't keep, especially if you break up, and she'll have a revolving door of "father figures".He'll have been busy with family, drinking with friends, etc. over Christmas and did reply to your snapchat, so I'd try to relax a little. Put some space between you and let him come back to you. I'd reconsider dating someone his age, though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): You shouldn't take this personally. He's only nineteen, he works and goes to school. That about says it all. He probably realizes that he is too young and inexperienced to be involved with a woman who has a small child. He's right about that. Likely he doesn't want a relationship with anyone at all. I'd say he was attracted to you and was acting in a spontaneous manner as often happens with youth.
Don't text him. If he texts you and you decide to answer, be polite and friendly, but don't have unrealistic expectations of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): I am sorry you are having a hard time. Why wouldn't you expect him to keep in touch? You seem to have hit it off very well and he did seem very interested in you. So, of course you are going to expect him to continue communicating with you. But men suck at doing this. They really do. They can also be oblivious and insensitive to the needs of women. And yes, sometimes they do stop communicating and ignore you to send you a message. Silence can speak volumes. The message is a coward's way out. That they have lost interest or changed their mind. And it could be anything. Maybe he is just too busy, too young and immature, not sure of you because he saw that you have a daughter. Yes, that does scare the boys away. Not the men though. At 19 he is probably quite immature and unsettled in his ways and has backed off because he is scared of having a relationship with a woman with a child. It is wrong and unfair but it does happen.If I were you, I would definitely want to find out what is going on. Why should you let him off the hook so easily? I wouldn't. But that is my style. Everybody is different. I do not blame you for being upset. He has dropped the ball. You can send him another text saying hello and ask him what's going on? Or you could drop by to see him and have a face to face chat and ask him directly if he wants to continue seeing you and I would also ask him directly if having a daughter is a deal breaker for him. There is nothing wrong with honestly and asking questions. You will have peace of mind at least because you will know and you can move on with a clear conscience if need be. You will know you've done all you can and that was enough. Good luck. If it doesn't work out, no worries. You will find another guy. There are plenty of good ones out there who will love you and your daughter. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2016): I would just block him out of your life, why waste your time on someone who can't be bothered to text you. This has happened to me so many times and usually it's because he found someone else and for some reason decided to go cold on me. Even had it once where we went to a restaurant I an hour later he was messaging the waitress on Instagram chatting her up! And completely ignored me!
Delete him and move on, you are worth way more than to be ignored. If someone really wants you yet will get in touch no matter what, people are never too busy to send a text message.
Good luck x
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