A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my bf for about a little more than a year. I'm still in college but he's just graduated and now has a full time job, along with other extracurricular activities he's been doing for a long time. He claims we won't be able to see each other much because he's going to be extremely busy. Things are not going to change much because this is his career for the rest of his life. I can see the pros being he has a career and is a hard worker. We've both clearly stated that we would like it to work. However, I'm questioning whether or not it's worth it to me to stay in this relationship when he's not going to have as much time with me as before (seeing him one day out of the week, or every other week, compared to two or three days a week). I understand it's hard now because I'm still in college with a few more years to go and without a car. I'm thinking about the future, am I'm ever going to fit in his busy schedule? Is this the kind of thing that would be wanted for a better future not only for a quality relationship, but even quite possibly a good, successful family? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Let's cut right to the guts of your submittal....
"...am I'm ever going to fit in his busy schedule? NO!!!
Good luck....
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Uhm. I don't want to be all doom and gloom , but , because of personal experience , I firmly believe that when there's a will there's a way. Always. I've been in two LTRs with overachieving, extra - hardworking guys, and both times until the relationship was strong... there still was time for everything. I just got prioritized after work but before any not -really-vital stuff. Like, extracurricular activities. When finding "we" time became an issue, it was because the relationship had become less important and there was less will to keep it going no-matter-what.
Said that, it's always a matter of common sense, and compromise, and meeting each other half way. What's wrong with getting together once a week ? That's the norm for tons of people with full time jobs. Quality over quantity,anytime. And supposedly, you'd be busy too, with college and friends and having a life outside of dating and romance, right ?
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Give this one some time before making any hasty judgments.
Your boyfriend is going through an important transition: his first real job. He needs to make a good impression and he'll have to devote a fair amount of time to it. Some careers are like that.
It also sounds like you'll remain busy with school as well.
If the relationship is important enough, you'll find time to be with each other. He can also consider getting a less demanding job (after all, work isn't everything) if he feels he isn't have a social life.
In short, give yourself some time and see what sort of attention he can give you before hitting the panic button. If you feel you need more one on one with him, talk openly about it and see if he can work something out. After all, relationships are all about give and take and compromise.
Have a happy new year.
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A
female
reader, XOLoveOX  +, writes (29 December 2011):
In my opinion if you really want this relationship to work you have to try and never give up. Make sure though you actually want this, even if he won't have a successful job in the future, you will still want this.
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