A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 20 now and have been in a relationship or a while and no matter what i do ive never gotten an orgasim. I cant seem to give myself one and my boy friend isnt having any luck wither. Is there a possiblity that not all women get the pleasure o experiencing one? Or could it possibley be that im defective? All i know is its kinda a bummer because my bf eels like hes not doing a good job.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I'm also 20, and have the same problem. I love pleasing my husband and occasionally watching him while he pleases himself, but I also feel jealous that he can get off whenever he wants and feel better while I'm still unsatisfied. So I 100% agree with you, it is a bummer, I guess maybe I'm not the right person to answer this question, but just know you are not alone.
A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Yes, you are defective.
However, your defect can likely be fixed - by you.
Don't make your orgasm his goal before you can reach orgasm on your own.
There are plenty of written and visual references that give in depth guidance on different methods and techniques, and go into far more detail than would be reasonable here.
Mind you, I am assuming that you are physically capable of stimulation, and have regular gyno exams that would have exposed - no pun intended - any physical abnormality that would preclude normal sexual release.
If you don't have a regular gyno, get one.
Now.
Assuming that everything is fully operational under the hood, then the problem is in your head.
Might be a big problem, might be a small one, but it's yours to fix - not his.
I mean, it's great if he's willing to discuss it with you and try different techniques to help you, but at the end of the day, your sexual health is your responsibility.
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A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Taken on the bright side, your BF could be happy that he has a "challenging" girl. :) Tell him he's not doing anything wrong, so he don't feel that he's not doing a good job. Unless he really is not doing a good job... that, you should know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Yes, many women never are able to experience one, especially with a partner. Have you tried one on your own time? I think usually it is a psychological block rather than a physical defect that causes this...
-T.V.
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