A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 26 year old mature student and I recently began seeing another student who is 18 about to turn 19, it took me a while to go on a date with this guy cause of the age difference but we get on really well, however I am still really worried about the age difference, it's not noticeable because I look about 19 thats why I always attract young guys but when people realise my age they look shocked and slightly creeped out by me being with someone so young. Is it too big of a gap? How would his parents feel? Why would he even want to be with someone 7-8 years older? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 May 2013):
 Let me put this in perspective for you…
When I was 26 my husband was turning 13.
If you are happy and enjoy the guy you are dating, and he is happy and you are both over 18 I don’t see a problem. The issue may come later on down the road when you are 30 and he’s 25 and you are ready to settle down and get married and make babies and he’s not. As long as you are in this for fun and games it’s all good and legal and fine.
My only concern is your wanting to settle down and get serious with him before he’s ready. I think that once the YOUNGER partner is past 30, age is rarely an issue but until then (especially if the guy is the younger partner)
I’m also betting YOU THINK folks are shocked and creeped out but the truth is they couldn’t care less and no one is thinking about it other than you.
He does not see your age trust me. My husband does not see my age… he forgets I’m 53 to his 40 (well he’ll be 40 on Sunday finally)
A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (27 May 2013):
 Well, I am 21 and I have always been with older girls. Be it in my teenage or now, I have always felt more comfortable with people who are older to me.
My girlfriend 26, never felt it was a big problem and we managed to work it really well. Sometimes, we can't agree on somethings and we settle on a common decision. She still feels really comfortable around me.
Its just sometimes you are mature quickly and as long as your thoughts and mindset works on similar grounds , you don't need to worry at all.
However, the only draw back I can see is usually young lads aren't too eager to settle down quickly! Also, sometimes people give you weird looks if a girl is dating a younger fella. But in a good and
healthy relationship, it shouldn't bother you!
Good luck as long as you are comfortable!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): Okay let's approach this without prejudice.He is of legal and consensual age; but he is not mentally or emotionally developed to the degree that he is your social equal.He is at his sexual peak hormonally, but this is more aligned with his physical development in do manhood. He emotional development is closer to an adolescent, when compared to girls of equal chronological age.He lacks the experience, education, and intellectual maturity to place him on equal footing with you. He may require parental consent in most cases; and will most often be carded and refused entry into most clubs and taverns. People get creeped out when the determine the age difference and you are uncomfortable about. He is still physically growing and his brain is still developing and maturing; a process that will continue until he is about 23 years old.His inexperience may hinder his judgment and decision making. His parents may still have a great influence on his behavioral development. His interest and attraction to you may be more sexual than emotional at his age.Now you tell me.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (27 May 2013):
 Perhaps he is a mature young man and enjoys your company more than those of someone his age. I don't think this is a big age gap, he is an adult, legally. He is 18. I don't see any problem with this.
You seem to be having some problems with this arrangement though, so perhaps you should ask yourself if it bothers you too much.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (26 May 2013):
Why are YOU making it out to be a big deal? I doubt people were looking at you like you were doing anything wrong, that's probably your anxiety about the situation that's making you feel that way.
It's really not a big age gap, certainly not one that you should dismiss beforehand. IF, not when, it becomes a problem then you can worry about it.
Why is he interested in you? For the same reasons he'd be interested in someone his age.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (26 May 2013):
 I don't mean to seem like I'm minimizing your concerns because I'm truly not trying to. Right now, though, I think you're a little too worried over what in reality is a very small age gap. By the time you're 30, the age gap won't matter so much as he'll already be in his 20's and maturing rapidly.It's not like you're out to marry this guy. Date him, have fun, don't get too wrapped up in other people's opinions of your relationship. IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS ANYWAY, because they're not dating you, HE IS. If you want to know what his parents feel about it...ask them. You seem like a woman with a good head on her shoulders, and in reality, were the genders reversed, almost no one would blink an eye at a 26 year old man dating a 19 year old girl, because it happens so often. Not that you should care, because again, their opinions mean nothing because you're the two that are dating and it's no one else's business. :-)
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