A
female
age
36-40,
*luck
writes:Are my morals wrong in thinking that sisters shouldnt sleep with each others exs?? I'm the middle child of 3 sisters.I found out recently that my little sister slept with my ex fiance' and my older sister is currently sleeping with a guy i was dating a few months ago.My older sister has slept with my younger sisters ex and i am the only one that thinks any of this is wrong.I have done things that are morally wrong to other people but I would never do this to them.Am i crazy or is my family really screwed up?
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male
reader, JippySad  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 It is always good, if not only for you, to speak your heart and share your feelings with your family. State your desires, even though you do not expect them to understand or follow up. Set your personal boundaries and set some rules for when others offend them. Take your conclusion and follow it. Be your own light and go forward into what will be your splendid future. Attract the man that really loves you and be happy. Tell him about your experiences and how that hurt you or just trust your intuition in choosing someone who will naturally understand. But for one thing, follow your own morality, so you can feel proud of yourself. Good luck.
A
female
reader, jluck +, writes (13 December 2010):
jluck is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all that answered.Sisters still think they did nothing wrong at this point and i was told to GET OVER IT! So...i will get over them.I've always held family to the highest level and this is what i'm stuck with.Ha! worthless! I didnt find out about my little sister til last week..5 years after it happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): Hun, the title says it all: your family is pretty messed up.
The fact that none of your susters think that this is wrong speaks volumes of them.
How toxic a relationship is this? Only u can answer.
If u ever do find a decent man to have a relationship with I think u know that your sisters will be out to screw him. Run, far far away from these 'evil' sisters and Oh, find a man who doesn't want to try out all sisters.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Yeah your family is screwed up. Your sisters are just easy, they like to go for the easy guy instead of get their own man, they can just swap around which each other as they don't have to put any work getting to know the guy.
I have to admit I have done the sisters thing. Dated one for a couple of weeks, called it a day and ended up sleeping with the other a few months later.
It was no big deal for me, because the time difference and the fact both were very casual flings. But these sisters have a history of that kind of stuff and they always fall out about guys. They both have kids from the same guy, which I think is a bit messed up, they alternate between him too. I think he's with the older one at the moment, but he's gone back and forth lots of times.
Quite strange really they come from a well-to-do family and are both quite pretty but they have a very strange dynamic, they hate each other and are always competing. Since they were kids they've been sabotaging each other. Now they're life long battle is over this one guy. A nice guy too, just incredibly stupid and unlucky that he got them both pregnant within a week of each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): If you have not already moved out of home do so now.
Next boyfriend? Find a more honorable man. Your sisters are not honorable.
Do not invite next bf to meet your sisters, because your sisters are toxic.
My sister used to flirt around any man I was interested in. My sister had an ever changing line of short relationships. They way she spoke on the phone to any boy she was breaking up with was horrible to hear. To make it worse my mother saw my sister's behavior as more successful, than my faithfulness to one man. When I met the man I married I raised the issue of her continual flirting. My darling told me, 'don't worry, I spotted what she was trying to do from the start. You have no need to be worried.' He went on to tell me that he fancied me, not her. And he was true to his word.
My sister was predatory and often took away a girl's bf, only to discard him a few weeks later. I found her behavior very
distressing. She is still the same.
You need a nicer boy friend/or husband but it will be harder to have that happen while your sisters can interfere.
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A
male
reader, Dirk Pitt  +, writes (12 December 2010):
I'm going to play devil's advocate here, and slightly disagree with the others.
My daughter has a really good female friend. Just recently this friend's ex boyfriend got smitten with my daughter, but she was natrually cautious. After my daughter chatted to her friend, she is now dating this boy, and they are all getting along fine.
I think the difference here is that my daughter spoke to her friend regarding this boy, and they are persueing the relationship quite seriously - because they spoke, everyone is OK. Having said that, the way your sisters and the ex-boyfriends are carrying on does seem 'loose', and probably "screwed up". They seem to be acting like children, and when children play, someone gets hurt.
If they want to have a serious relationship and talk about it, then all well and good. But, from your question, "sisters sleeping with each others ex's", it ain't pretty at all. Have you spoke to your sisters about your feelings?
Good luck, hope it sorts itself out.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Im sorry, your sisters sound like s¤ts. I'd not do that either and I think it's down right wrong of them and nasty. The only reason the guys are sleeping with them is probably because it is cool to brag about having had sisters. Pick your next guy wisely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I think you and your sisters need to sit down and set some boundaries. I mean c'mon it's a bit silly, i would never dream of sleeping with a siblings ex, especially an ex fiancee.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): your sisters shouldn't really be doing that to you! Especially not with a fiance! I think that they need help to see this, but it would probably be best if these words didn't come from you as your a sister as well.
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A
male
reader, JippySad +, writes (12 December 2010):
oh, I have to add, I did not read completely careful. In my days, as far as I know, we did not sleep with each other, but there was some kissing. Sorry, in my mind I mixed up these bits. I think with having sex, hmmm, depends on the amount of love and respect you people can develop for each other. How do your parents deal with it, what do they feel about it, how is their intimate life? Nevertheless. you follow your moral code that you find in your heart of hearts and stay with it.
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A
male
reader, JippySad +, writes (12 December 2010):
no, it just happens like this in small communities, where the young people mix and remix, and it seems like all possible combinations are being tried out. It may hurt a bit, though, yes, I understand that truely. But I do not see the immorality in it, unless one would like to adhere to no sex before marriage and so. It is hard and it is good that your feelings tell you not to do the same, I suppose. But in truth, I saw this happen a lot in puberty where I lived, and all people grew over it and grew wiser and become happy adults, smiling at those wild days.
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (12 December 2010):
Your family is crazy. If a guy can sex all females in one family than you guys needs help, lots of it.
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male
reader, Tizzie0612 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 naw, your not crazy it is wrong. its just the moral principal that you shouldnt date or sleep with another family members ex. espcially if they are as close as siblings.It's happen to me before where my brother slept with my ex girl the same day we broke up.I was pretty hurt and the little family that knew about the situation agreed that it was just wrong of him.Espcially since he didnt see if i was ok with it, but yes your sisters are pretty screwed up..at least in my opinion
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