A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi again. Ok, so these last few days have been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. I've now fallen out of love with a guy i've longed after for years, and i'm kinda happy about it! I've told a friend i'm a bit confused about my orientation, and he's really supportive which is nice. I beginning to think now that i'm bi - how do i know?? should i really just decide one or the other?? how do i explain to others, and myself?!?All advice welcome! Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (28 July 2009):
 To find out if you're bi or gay, try getting intimate with a boy and see if you enjoy it or not.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (28 July 2009):
 if you fancy both sexes then keep your options open cos you have no idea who you might fall for, but if you are simply saying you are bi so that if people react badly to the fancying men you can pretend it was a phase then that is also not the best idea.
keep your options open, but if you dont fancy women then dont pretend to yourself. to be fair i'm gay and i dont go telling everyone (its not the most interesting topic of conversation for those that are not gay). but maybe you dont identify with the over stereotyped notions of what a "gay" is. i find that modern categories often have ridiculous hairstyles and a self destructive party lifestyle within clubs that charge more for everything. stay yourself but be honest to yourself.
i like people for their personalities not their orientation, which leads to fancying people i cant have but i like writing songs and unrequited love is a theme that gives me material at least so there's some purpose to the mental torture. as for getting over people you have loved for a long time, its difficult and a major arse pain, so good luck with that and stay good.
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A
female
reader, HateMyLife +, writes (27 July 2009):
dont worry what other think. I'm bi too. i know how u feel just go with what feels right and if u like both then ur bi it is as simple as that as for explaining urself u dont have to explain urself to anyone just be ur self and things will work out if u trying lying and hiding ur real self then u just getconfused, upset, angery and i hated myself for lying about it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Sorry poster, my bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, 'eyeswideopen' you've lost me, and to be honest, i'm not really into having sex with everything that moves, although thanks for the advice q1605.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 July 2009):
q Big Sis is looking for you
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 You never have to explain yourself anyone. if you have a sexual desire for another man you can cconsider your self bi-curious. if you act on it and you like it and you want to continue with it then if you like both guys and girls you are bi. Thinking about another man specificly is human nature to be curious. doesn't nessacaraly mean you are bi sexual.
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