A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently whilst sleeping around my friends, after a night of drinking, I awoke to discover him fondling me.I didn't say anything and just pretended to be asleep. The fondling progressed into him giving me oral sex whilst rubbing himself up against me.The problem is I find myself dwelling on it during the day. I am not gay, I have never fancied men or even been curious and I have been in a straight relationship for 3 years now. If I am honest with myself I think the main problem is that the oral sex was spectacular and that is why I am thinking so much about it. Each time I see my friend I find myself trying to turn the subject towards bi-sexuality in the hope he may confess what happened and maybe let it happen again. But whenever I do he replies in a completely homophobic manner.I have told my girlfriend about it and she is completely understanding. Though I have to confess that I didn't tell her how much I enjoyed it or that I would consider allowing it to happen again.I really am having problems getting my head around what happened and am in dire need of some advice.Am I bi-sexual? Why was my girlfriend so understanding? Should I confront my friend?Please help.Confused.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 I'm no expert but if this bothers you and you're still considering doing it again, maybe you are bi. The opposite would indicate you're not bi. You need to do some more research.
A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Oh hon. Sexuality isn't like that. It's not like you are all one thing or another, and labels don't help.
"Our sexual orientation and preference is probably not one discrete and rigid reality. Many believe that our sexuality, and our sexual preference, lies somewhere along an emotional and physical continuum from 100% homosexual to 100% heterosexual." http://www.fullerton.edu/universityblues/gay_lesbian/sexuality_continuum.htm
Give yourself a break, and don't worry about the labels. I'd be more concerned about the possible cheating on your girlfriend than I would be with whom. Your girlfriend may have been so understanding because you were obviously distressed, and she didn't want to make it worse. You've got a great lady there. Do what you can to deserve her.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (10 May 2008):
Firstly, the fact he did this to you whilst he thought you were asleep is slightly disturbing.It sounds as if he is in denial of what happened and is scared you'll bring this up.If you enjoyed this experience, it doesnt mean you're neccessarily bisexual. Its a bodily response to enjoy oral sex. If you have no desire to be with other men then you can safely say this was a one off.You're girlfriend was understanding because she trusts you.Even so, It would help to discuss things with this man, to clear the air and understand his actions.It may also help him realise his behaviour.Good luckxxx
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