A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great he announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I don't even have mine up so ok. But then he blocked me from viewing his wall when I asked he lied and said he turned it off for everybody. When I found out that wasn't true and confronted him he turned it back on but took away my posting rights so that I couldn't make comments. When i scrolled to read old posts he had one that said "its about to get cold, i need a nice girl to keep me warm. Is she here?" when I asked him about it he said because we had a fight and he felt like I was goi to break up with him. But have a decent memory and we hadn't fought that day. But I second guessed myself and went along with it. But then he told me it was better that we weren't Facebook friends because I read too much into his cryptic posts and he didn't want me to think anything was going on just because girls post on his wall. Ok dispite the online stuff everything else seems ok. He texts a few times throughout the day and we hangout almost every evening. But he is unemployed so I am the one doing the driving, the food buying, the entertainment purchasing, etc. My question is am I being used for money, sex, and transportation or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 Well, he has to sing for his supper, doesn't he ?
I mean, would you still give him money, food, drives, attention and sex on demand, if he were openly neglecting you for weeks at a time ? Instead, a few texts here and there, and he kills two birds with a stone. he kills time and keeps you hooked.
He appreciates the deal he's got, and will do his best to keep it going- until he finds a better one through Internet.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 he is keeping his options open by looking to the facebook community like he is a single guy. of course he will see you every night while you are paying for everything, driving him around and having sex with him. he will only give these perks up when he finds someone else who will do it for him and i believe he IS looking. what does he do in the daytime while you are at work? spends time on facebook, i'll bet. if he was innocent he would not have to be so cagey with his account, he is definitely keeping secrets from you.
i can't see what you are gaining from this relationship. you are NOT over reacting. stop ignoring your common sense. it is screaming at you to tell you 'you are being played!'
x
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (3 October 2011):
Your picture on his phone and him texting you while you're at school/work is fine .. but he is still denying you in public. (on Facebook).
He should be proud of you -- proud to say "in a relationship with" .. and have photos of both of you - on his page. and definitely NOT HAVE A SINGLE STATUS.
This is NOT accceptable. He needs to change it immediately, or you need to break up with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's so misleading because we're together everyday and he txts me when I'm at work/school and it's my pictures on the home screen of his phone.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Let see, you're paying for food, you drive him around and you pay when you two go on a dates. Not only are you his financial pillar, but he now knows that's it's acceptable if he lies and hides things from you, says he is single and flirts with other girls. Would you respect someone who you would walk all over? Someone who does everything for you, even if you treat them badly?
He is using you because he sees you're willing to take on all his burdens and take a whole lot of BS. He probably thinks you're desperate and will do anything for him. That is never an attractive quality and people will loose respect for you. Not only respect, but people immediately find push-overs unattractive. Dump this guys ASAP. Trust me, nothing good will come out of this. He will dump you when he finds someone else and won't look back for a second.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Stop doing the driving and paying. Stop rowing the relationship boat and let him do it. That will give you your answer.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 I think he's playing you. It's not okay for him to set his facebook status from relationship to single. It isn't. You said you don't have yours up, but that does not mean the same as telling the world you are single when you are no. He is announcing that he is single. If he didn't want his relationship status up he'd hide it, not put it as SINGLE. No doubt he is trying to hook up with someone else and don't want to spoil his chances with this other person.
Sorry. Break up with him. He's playing you. The blocking you from facebook and lying about it as well are just more signs that he definitely is trying to hook up with someone else, and doesn't want this other person to see that you exist. Because you could write one wrong thing on his wall to blow his cover.
End it. You are only there for him because you are convenient. As soon as he drags home someone else you'll get ditched. He probably wont have any luck with any other woman, but either way, his behaviour is sneaky, not respectful, he isn't loyal or honest with you... How much else do you need to see that this man is a waste of your time? Unemployed to top it off, and you throw away your money on him.
If you want to test it just stop paying for things, stop driving him around. Even if he is unemployed he must have some sort of money, or else he wouldn't get money to live and eat. So he can sort it out himself if he wants to hang out and be with you. See how long it takes for him to drop you once you cut out the money flow.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Hmmm, whatever it is, it sounds dodgy as hell! Run away... very fast!!!
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A
male
reader, xzibit33  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 I think he liked you and may just don't anymore. Blocking you from his facebook is too much of a prank. Although, I'd advise you stick around a little more but this time boss the relationship
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (2 October 2011):
Be wary Of the FB games. He is playing games with you've already caught him flirting online. He is still on the hunt ... Either you do the same or end it with him and move on. My ex fought me on changing his status to "in a relationship" and guess what I found out? He was flirting with a girl he met on FB and promising a future with her.. It got more complicated when he had to explain me. Always go with your gut. His behavior is not right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): yes he's using you. it sounds like he's looking around for someone new or for some other action, but until it materializes he's happy to spend his time with you playing the part of being your bf cos you willingly provide him with all the perks so why shouldn't he be happy to keep them as long as he can?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): I think he is using you, sorry to say it but I have been there myself. He seems to be trying to find someone else, yes he may like you, but doesn not respect you and I feel that he is using you. Maybe he just thinks you won't break up with him, so he can take advantage of you. I would be very careful if I were you as you deserve to be treated better than this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (2 October 2011):
Something in between. I.e., no I don't think he hates your guts and finds you totally unattractive , and he's just with you for the financial perks- he must like you- a bit. But he's obviously combing the net fishing for something better, or something additional to you, and in the meanwhile he is enjoying the free ride, as well as your company.
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