A
male
age
30-35,
*sc823
writes:I am COMPLETELY obsessed with a guy. It's not healthy in any way, and I wish that it weren't so. I am 18, gay, and living in the homophobic state of South Carolina. It all started about 3 years ago when I first met him. He is my best friends brother, and he, IMO, is the most amazing person in the world. It started as a simple crush, I thought he was cute. It furthered to where I realized that I loved him for who he was and since then I have not been able to even be attracted to anyone but him. I have tried to find other guys good looking, and I can say that a few are, but none even comes close to him in my book. I also REALLY love just being with him, we just click. The chemistry that we have is crazy. We get along so well that we pretty much already act like a couple.Reasons that he DOES like me:Like I said, we are really close and act like a couple a lot. Like we walk close to each other, and stand close to each other. When I am telling him something he leans really close, closer than most do. He is always making funny faces at me and smiling in a cute way. Like we will be having a discussion and he always i guess adds to it by making faces or smiling silly. He looks me in the eyes a lot and smiles. He is pretty touchy feely with me, although he used to be more so. He still touches me when we are talking and such. And last night I was expressing dissapointment that I was unable to come to an event with them and he put his arm around me and patted my shoulder for a sec. He left his hand there for a few seconds too. He always seems to try and impress me or make me laugh. Like he will do just silly/stupid things that make no sense, but they are funny to the two of us. We have also told each other "I love you" multiple times. I said it first, about 1.5 years ago, and since then he has actually told me more times than I have told him. Like sometimes he will just say "love you" as I am walking out the door, and other times he will say "I love you" more caringly.IDK, I have not worked up enough courage to tell him again...Reasons that he doesn't like me:He is a DEVOUT christian. I mean, I am also a Christian, but he takes it to the max. He is very moral in everything he does, and will correct you for the smallest thing (like saying "what the hell"). That is the only thing about him that irritates me in the least bit, but it also helps me keep myself in check so I don't complain. He also has a pretty good friendship with my sister, although I don't know if he wants more than a friendship with her. He is nice to her, and talks to her and her group of friends a lot. Part of that may be because he is kinda socially awkward and doesn't REALLY fit in with one specific group. And he is a few years behind me and his brother so he really doesn't fit in our group either (although I wouldn't mind if he tried). The only real thing that makes me worry is a conversation he had with her and another of their male friends one time. My sister likes this other guy they were with and they were talking about relationships. My sister likes this guy, and another guy that wasn't there. They were talking about how she should go out with him, and then he said "well what about me?" or something along those lines. Now, I tend to believe this is because he was the only other guy there, and the only one left out but IDK. When we are all together (him and brother, me and sister) he tends to pretty much ignore her and stick around me and is usually pretty flirty with me. The last reason is that he can sometimes have phases where he doesn't act like he likes me. Like one week (or day) he will be all smiley with me in the halls between classes and when I go over to his house, and the next he will be almost dismissive. I can attribute this to him being nervous that he is showing to much affection but I really don't know. Another part of this is that when we are together sometimes, he will be sweet and loving, and the next minute seem distracted and dismissive. Like last night, we were at a football game and he was really sweet and loving to me, but the next he was looking around like he was looking for someone. He asked at one point if my sister and her friend came, and I said IDK. Only once during the entire game did he go and talk with her and her friends, and that was only for like 2 minutes before he came back to me. I really and stuck in this situation. I love him with all my heart, and my worst nightmare is that he will reject me someday. What should I do? Do you think he likes me too? I am going absolutely insane over this...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): I'm sorry, but it seems like he likes your sister and he thinks of you as a brother. You are family. His feelings for you are platonic...he loves you because you are family to him. Is he aware of your sexual orientation? If not, as a devout christian in a homophobic state, he may reject you or feel awkward if you come on to him.Finally, if he is socially awkward like you stated, he is probably touchy-feely with people he is comfortable with...like you. I wouldn't read too much into his actions. He seems straight, has a crush on your sister and doesn 't have the slightest clue how to pursue her lest she shoots him down.Take the high road. Distance yourself from him if necessary. You're obsessing over a boy who is obsessing over your sister. You're the adult. Do the right thing.
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