A
female
age
26-29,
*ootsieToots
writes:I'm 18 and in my final year in school and I have fallen hard for my English teacher. I'm a lesbian and out to my whole year group and everything is fine, none of the teachers know as I never needed any advice or anything, it was something I dealt with on my own, also I don''t look like the 'stereotypical lesbian' as people would say.I've always had a 'crush' on her but lately it feels like I really do care for her and as my time at school is nearing its end I really don't want to lose contact with her. Not only do I like her because of how beautiful she looks, I've never seen someone so passionate about their job, her enthusiasm is inspiring and she always makes me smile in class.I'm not just saying this but I do think I may be her personal favourite of my class as everyone is slumped in their seats, with their heads down on the desk during English, whereas I am sitting upright, taking it all in showing a genuine interest, she always makes eye contact with me when I leave the classroom and tells me to have a good day, once I complimented her on an item of clothing and she said I had 'made her day!' and recently she told me that she doesn't know what she's going to do without me next year and she'll miss me.I know maybe I could be reading her lovely personality the wrong way and I am smart enough not to jeopardise our friendship (if that's what you would call it) her job or anything for that matter. But as I said, I am leaving school in May, is there anyway I could suggest a way to stay in contact? Or am I being silly and taking a crush too far? Answers greatly appreciated - thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (11 November 2012):
You will have to find a way to forget about the crush because nothing will come of it, and perhaps leaving and moving on will help you do that. You seem a smart, switched on young lady and the intensity of this crush is likely to fade as you go on to the next ventures in life. There are lots of teacher crush questions on this site, my hunch is that such crushes are the result of being impressed and inspired by some-one who is a good teacher and engages you in the learning process. If you wanted to stay in contact, ask her for her school email address. It’s always nice for teachers to get good feedback so if she has helped you and given you an enjoyable and rewarding learning experience, tell her. Explain that you’d like to keep in touch and tell her about what you’ll be doing after you leave school and how it’s going. But there really is absolutely no point telling her you have a crush on her. In all honesty, thanking her for all her help and then moving on after you leave will probably be better for you as you have feelings for this lady.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Leave her alone for the time being as you could get her into terrible trouble. After you have left school she would probably be free to be friends with who she wanted but a word of caution. You dont mention knowing anytjing about this lady other than she is nice to you, which some teachers just are. Having u persue her outside school could make her feel uncomfortable, what if shes married or seeing someone? Even if u dont act on your feelings, you could just end up hurting yourself
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Don't read anything into her behaviour, she might just be being nice. And when we are in this state it's easy to read significance into things where there is none.
But if you're serious, wait until you finish school, then go back and see her and ask her if she'd be interested in catching up, maybe for a drink. I would say be ready to be disappointed but who knows.
But don't do anything until you've finished school.
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