A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating the same guy for almost a year now and slowly over the last 6 months or so i've been discovering many hurtfull signs of him being missleading and even plain out lying to me. Such as having hundreds of pictures of his ex gf and numerous other girls that he has dated or met online stored in his computer, i also came across his saved msn conversations, (yes i ended up snooping despite the fact it was wrong) he was dating 6 other girls at the least when we were dating and either didnt mention them at all or told me they were strictly platonic friends. He now becomes very defencive when i mention any of this and keeps trying to tell me that he deleted all of the pictures, accounts ect. aswell as telling me a false password when i never asked him to do any of this but came to find out he was lying everytime...is it worth it, i love him but is it time i left, what can i do to focus his love and attention on me and be honest???
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 As is often the case, I fully agree with Baby Duck. He is a manipulator who is playing you, and there is nothing you can do to make him focus his love on you. He would if he wanted to, but he fails to appreciate your worth and resorts to this dirty tricks. Don't let him do that anymore. Leave the man, and over time you will find someone who will really give you the special attention you deserve.
A
female
reader, LizzieLowe  +, writes (27 January 2008):
Sorry...yes you are being played. The guy has no respect for you or enough deep feelings to stop himself from 'playing'and he does it because he can. I have been there...I dated a guy for three years and I caught him out four times. I finally walked away because I realised that he will never change. In actual fact - if I am honest he never stopped....even aftre he was caught teh first time. He had about seven girls numbers in his phone...lots of dirty text going back and forth..talk of hotels etc etc. I checked his phone after we'd had an argument - he was so busy looking at his phone that I grabbed it in anger and ran into the toilet and locked myself in there so that he couldn't get it. What I saw was really shocking!! I called one of the girls whose name I recognised. She was married with kids and her husband worked at the desk behind me. I told her that she ought to know better and that I was going to tell her husband. Of course she cried etc but I am not heartless and I didn't tell her husband. I called a couple of the other numbers and none knew that my partner was in a relationship....he had told them all that he was single. They were all upset. My partner cried but it was crocodile tears - I was taken in at first but looking back now I know he was crying because he'd been caught out. I know that you love him and it will be hard for you to walk away but aren't you angry that he could think so little of you to do this behind your back. Would he like it?? I have learn't so much - I know that if someone wants to do that then he can do it whilst he is single but he certainly isn't going to do it with me. I'd rather be with a guy who wants me and me only.
If you love this guy and want to give it another try - and he is sorry....then try again...it may not be time for you to walk away. Eventually you will know when to walk away. The time to walk away will be when you wirry about where he is and what he's doing when he's not with you and you are anxious all the time. You should go out and have fun yourself. You are not married and have every right to at least look around - what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If you want his love and attention, the one thing you shouldn't do is wait patiently at home like a good girl whilst he goes out finding entertainment. Go out and see what's out there - be happy yourself and hopefully he will realise what he has or you will find someone who is worthy of you. At the moment, this guy is acting like an insecure loser and shouldn't get off scot free.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Listen to your gut, if you don't trust him there is probably a reason, snooping in his computer is a sign you either have trust issues or he your radar has caught him in numerous lies, he doesn't sound worth it to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Well I think you are being played and the fact that he goes on the defensive is a sure sign of him playing away. If he really cared then he wouldn't lie and would put your happiness first. I would get rid of him and find someone honest. If you're feeling that you can't trust him then the relationship is over and you will only end up hurting inside even more if you continue to be with him.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 In love , there should be trust and sincerity. If you find these two qualities missing, the relationship is not worth holding on.
If you think he can change, or you can influence him , you may give him another chance.
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