A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After 8 month, he said he only cares a little about me, is it time to move on?Me and this guy has been going out for 8 months. It is not an official relationship. Although we do everything a couple does (sex etc etc), I have never once referred to him as a boyfriend because I did not want to commit myself, and because he has a history of being a player and I don't want to fall too deep (self defence mechanism I suppose). Throughout our relationship, he has always been the one who takes the initiative to ask me out on dates, send me text messages, pay for dinners etc. He even has my picture as his wallpaper on his cell phone. All this lead me into thinking that maybe he does like me, and lately, I find myself developing slightly deeper feelings for him. Just now, he told me that he cares about me only a little. I am beginning to think that maybe to him I am merely a piece of ass of easy access. Maybe he's bored with no other targets in sight, that's why I am in this picture. I want to end things right here and now, before I fall any deeper for him. Am I being too impulsive? If he's "playing" me and stringing me along all this time, why does he actually put effort into maintaining this relationship? Isn't 8 months a long time if he's just using me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for both of the replies. I have ignored his calls and text messages today because I don't know what to say to him. My intuition tells me that he likes me. He told me before we started 'dating' that he is a very caring person and sometimes he cares too much and ends up getting hurt. After being with him for 8 months, I just don't understand why I do not deserve that same type of 'care' he showed the other girls he went out with. He has never even once bought me a gift, when he spent hundreds of dollars on a piece of electronic for his ex gf. He is a charming guy and girls love him for some reason. I always feel like I am not good enough for him. My insecurities are kicking in and I feel that I should let him go before I fall any deeper. This is the first time I've dated a guy for this long and it is scaring me.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 This is something you have to discuss with him. It seems to me that he likes you but people have different ways into showing them. It seems like he is the type of person that sorta hides his feelings so he wont get hurt ( such as yourself). I mean think about it.If a guy is a "Player", he wouldnt have you as a wall picture in his cell phone. Also, i dont know much but if he seems to care about this relationship a lot then he must care for you. He is the type of person that when it comes to caring for someone, he likes to take it slow. But if you still have dobts, put him through a test. See how long he can last without you giving him any sex. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Players may stop being players. It is too hard to tell whether he can start seeing you as his boyfriend because the information you have given is too little to guess.
But As far as I can see from where I sit, I do think that he might really really like you as compored to the other girls he has gone out with. First of all he has initiated almost everything you did together, which included not only sex but dates and dinners also. Seconf of all he has beeing regularly seeing you for the last 8 months. Now, it is not only sex and it is a long time, which I think are unusual for a player. And for a player to admit that he cares about you a little (probably he said this jokingly) he might have teased you and meant he likes you a lot. If he meant what he said it would be too rude and risky.
Any way this is my best guess I think you should continue with him without pressuring him to openly admit you are having a relationship.
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