A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am I been over sensitive? My boyfriend of 5 month is constantly hanging up on me in mid flow of a conversation. We can be talking on the phone and he just says bye I’ve got to go and hangs up. It’s really annoying and I have ended up telling him that I find it disrespectful and I got angry about it ended up in an argument. He said I’m being a bitch about it all. All I want him to say is bye I’ll speak to you later. I don’t see him a lot either so communication over the phone is important to me. I’m not being needy and it’s not me calling him all the time it’s him who calls me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2021): While I agree with the rest of the people about that he at least says bye to you the big deal breaker for me would be that he basically called you a bitch.Are you really ok with that?What other terrible things has he called you?Red flag here....look at it.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (30 September 2021):
 I'm sorry I don't really get what the big deal is. He says goodbye, I have to go. Its not like he just hangs up without saying anything! I can't tell you how many times my husband and I have had to do this to each other. We call each other at work but sometimes a co-worker or boss comes up and hey..you have to go! I do think you are being a little sensitive OP...just my opinion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2021): If you're calling him while he's at work, or in the middle of doing something; he might be somewhat abrupt. It's a matter of bad-timing!
Socially, I'm not a big-time chatter on the phone; because 200% of my job requires intense business-calls and online communications. I have people in my life who love me, and they all need their phone-time. Sometimes the conversation starts to become strained, they run out of things to talk about; or there's not much to say. I really need to end it when it reaches that point. When everyone runs out of things to say, and you're just making small-talk. It gets awkward. If you find yourself just clinging to conversation for need of attention; it might become annoying or inconvenient.
I see no reason to be rude, there is absolutely no excuse for that! In situations when you can't talk, or have to go; you should just tell the other party you need to be getting-on, or you've got something pressing to do. I always promise to catch up with them later. I will keep the promise.
You explained that you don't get to see him much, and I guess you're trying to compensate for his absence. He can't always make up for scarce attendance over the phone. You're searching for things to keep talking about; but otherwise, it's just idle small-talk. He'll sense the desperation in your effort to keep a conversation going. If it turns-out that he just doesn't like long phone-conversations; that just may be one of his idiosyncrasies. Especially common in people who have short attention-spans. They are notorious for either switching topics rapidly, or losing interest in conversation altogether.
I would address him about the rudeness, and I would also consider whether a romantic-relationship is viable; if he has little or no time to spend with you. Not everyone likes conducting a romance between devices. I'm one of them. He may also be saving conversation for when you've got more time to be together.
Not spending much time with you, and rudely cutting you off on the phone like you've described; would lead me to believe he's just not that interested. I would feel as if he were leading me on, and avoiding hurting my feelings by ending things. Some guys just let you chase them; until you just give-up. Saves them the trouble of dumping you, and being the bad-guy. Others are giving you the cold-shoulder, once they've had sex.
Put two and two together, and figure it out.
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A
female
reader, i can help  +, writes (29 September 2021):
I don't think this is a relationship you should keep....this guy is bullshit he has non right to call you a bitch... if ii were you I would goast him. just stay away from him until he gets a tase of ;his own medicine
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 September 2021):
 I suspect there is possibly one of two things going on here: he is in a situation where he needs to end the conversation (work/in a family situation) or he ends the conversation abruptly because he is fed up of it for whatever reason. I used to do this to a friend who would go on and on, not drawing breath to allow me to speak at all. After attempting to get a word in edgeways several times, I would just suddenly think "Heh, I don't need this" and cut the call short, similar to what your boyfriend does. Take note of what is happening next time he does it. Is the conversation getting boring? Are you (perhaps) ranting a bit or venting? Is the conversation making him uncomfortable for any reason?
Whether you are being "over sensitive" is irrelevant really. It bothers YOU so it is your right to decide whether this is a deal breaker for you, whether you will attempt to fix it or whether you can learn to live with it.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (29 September 2021):
 I do this. Usually it's when a customer walks in or when my boss calls. That does indicate that I consider casual conversations secondary to making money, and I can see how that could be insulting.
In your case he is cutting off your conversation for something that is more important to him. That could be work, television, guy friends, his wife, or any number of other things. I suspect that when you know what it is that he is hanging you up for, you will be able to decide much better whether or not you are oversensitive.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (29 September 2021):
 I guess there could be many reason's why he does this. He could be at work and his lunch break has just come to an end. He could have someone else trying to call him at the same time he is on the phone to you. He could be married, be in another relationship, who knows.
Could go on forever with the he could be's, at the end of the day this relationship is still very much in its infancy, the stage where your still finding things out about each other, what we like about them, what we don't like about them.
It is odd that he does this all the time, if it was a one off i could understand. Maybe its just the way he is.
Maybe you are being a little over sensitive, however if it is really affecting you and bothering you this much then call it a day and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2021):
 " he just says bye I’ve got to go and hangs up."
OK, he SAYS bye I got to go! That is a UNIVERSAL language for I have to go, this conversation is OVER for now.
"All I want him to say is bye I’ll speak to you later. "
You are being oversensitive and unreasonable.
He has to say this and that and he has to stay on the phone for as long as I want him to. Because... reasons. No, that is not how a conversation works!
However, if you find this utterly annoying... Have you tried doing the same to him? Ever?
I'd try it and see if he gets your point.
Also, are you sure he is single? This is not normal to just say bye and hang up while having a conversation UNLESS - he is at work, or there is someone else there and they need to get off the phone, or they have insanely bad manners.
Another thing can be that he really isn't able to keep the conversation going or you two are telling each other the same stuff/story and he gets bored.
NOT everyone enjoys phone conversation (I don't and I know many people who don't either).
What you might want to remember is that people have different levels of "need for chatting and interacting" with others. You might have a higher level than he does.
If you two don't see each other much, is this really a relationship you want to be in? While I do think you are being nit-picky and oversensitive - I think IF you are not FULFILLED by your BF, then MAYBE he is not as good of a match as you first thought.
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