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female
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*o torn up
writes: I just found out oday that the person I believe is my true soulmate is getting maried in July, I know I don't have any right to feel as hurt as I am, for the countless times that I have hurt him, but it is killing me inside. I am engaged but I am not going to be able to go through with it cause it would just be setteling. Do I have any right to tell my soulmate how I feel. I guess I just sit and wonder if he is getting married for the same reason I am, not to be alone?
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female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (22 April 2006):
 From personal experience I think you should tell him. he is not married and to allow him time to rethink now could reinforce true feelings he may feel for his fiance, or allow him to question how he really feels for you. I once married a man believing my ex husband had moved on only to find 20 years later he only wanted me to miss him as much as he was missing me. We are now email friends but neither of us ever really recovered and both have tainted relationships on the rebound as a result. I suggest you arrange to speak with him calmly and make it OK for him to say no, no matter how it hurts. At least you will not have to live with that nagging feeling that you should have said something, and would you have missed that last opportunity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): Face this loss, hun. Face it head on and move through it. You have no right to interfere with this other man's relationship and the love he has with the woman he has to chosen to marry. What purpose would telling him now really accomplish except satisfying your pain. If you are experiencing regrets and second thoughts about your own choices in life and where you are going, then you own that problem. Don't make other people pay for YOUR choices or what you are going through. Leave your so called 'soulmate' and his fiancee alone...do not tell him anything. That my dear would be the most self-centered, selfish act you could ever do. Just because you "feel' he is your soulmate, doesn't NOT mean, you are his. It sounds like he has moved on. You need to, as well. But.. I would tell your own fiancee how you feel, though. So he can either stay with you or choose to leave this relationship, based on an informed choice. He deserves the chance to find someone who will not just "settle' for him ...he deserves a girl who will accept and love him, unconditionally and with all her heart. Think about going solo until you can figure out...what you want, because right now..you stand to hurt so many people with just your feelings. Feelings and just feelings get a person into a pack of trouble but when you combine rational thought with those feelings..that's what makes you aspire to being a more compassionate, loving person. Good luck
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A
male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (21 April 2006):
YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM!! I actually just wrote about my experience with this same exact situation! I was getting engaged and I did not express my true feelings to my ex (who was also getting engaged) and I still regret it to this day! I say you should tell him and at least you will know for sure. He may be like I was, afraid to tell you how he feels too. I wrote my ex a letter and did not reveal my "true" feelings in it, I said I was happy, blah blah blah, hoping that, if she had feelings for me, she would say it, but I see now that was stupid because if she really loved me she would not want to do that if I said I was happy. Anyways, enough about me, you HAVE TO TELL HIM. Like I said, even if he says that he does not have feelings for you and is truely in love with this other person, at least you will know and won't have to live with what "might have been" because belive me, it totally sucks
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female
reader, Anja +, writes (21 April 2006):
 No, don't go through your engagement while you are feeling this way!! Be truthful first to your fiance...he will be hurt but at least it won't last where as a marriage to him will! Then tell your 'soulmate' how you feel about him. You will end up losing your fiance...and possibly your soulmate too if he doesn't feel the same. Better to take that chance then live a life of misery either with somone you will end up resenting or a life of what if's...good luck girl!! xx
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