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female
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*oconfused0404
writes: ok. to make a long story short. i have been married for 3 years now. my life involves a lot of traveling and my husband and i are constantly separated. our latest separation was a year and a half long. i met a wonderful guy, fell in love with him and had an affair pretty mch the whole time i was abroad. my husband found out, we separated and he began to sleep around. he didnt tell methis until after i came back to the u.s. and we were trying to work things out. i got pregnant (by my husband) and i am currently about 7 weeks. the problem.. i am still in love with the guy i had an affair with. i dont think i love my husband. and the other man doesnt know i am pregnant yet. should i just stay with my husband and be unhappy or play my chances with the other man by telling him that i am pregnant and seeing if we could still make things work. we had make big plans for when he came back to the u.s. and i just dont know what to do... help!!!
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (22 April 2006):
 I won't patronize you with fluff about following your 'true emotions' or guesses into your life, from me your going to get the cold hard truth.
Right now is not a time to make any life altering plans. The hormones rushing through your body, even if you don't want to admit it, makes thinking straight very hard.
Women can make huge life altering mistakes during pregnancy.
Get counselling with your husband. If your love can't be rekindled after an honest try, then you can honestly tell your baby that you tried your hardest to make it work.
Also if counselling doesn't work do not stay in your marriage just for the sake of the baby. Yet do not commit your life to another man either. Be a good mother and give yourself enough time to bond with that baby before rushing into another relationship or look into adoption.
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (21 April 2006):
 It sounds as if your relationship with your husband is on the rocks anyway and you have made your mind up you are unhappy if you stay with him. I would suggest you sperate from your husband and not rush intot hearms of the other one either. Just have your baby and let fate take it's course. It would't be fir not to allow your husband some input on his own child, so perhaps before you tell him you are pregnant, give him the opportunity to find out what he wants too. Maybe he would like to move on too and you could have an amicable seperation instead of a hostile one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): Leave your husband and go for the guy you had an affair with. I can get into details, but I think you just said a key word comment: "should i just stay with my husband and be unhappy".
I'm sure other aunts and uncles will try to sway your mind to try to work thing out with your husband, but how much of that 'trying' is simply a way of supressing your true emotions?
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