A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just need a second opinion on this one because I'm not to sure myself. My g/f is attending college and recently she had admitted to flirting with a classmate. I was very unhappy and she knew that I would be upset by them continuing to hang out. A few days later I learn that she had invited him over to a friends house and they had all hung out together again I was upset by this and made it known and asked her not to go out of her way to hang out with him but if by chance he was somewhere she was going that was of course fine. I also asked that if they do happen to hang out that all she does is tell me if he flirts with her or anything. About 2 days after this they had hung out at a mall together and I asked had any flirting gone on and she replied No but the next night (after she had got some booze into her) she had admitted to him flirting, I was obviously upset and here it is a day later I get a call saying shes hanging out with him and 2 other people right now. What do you think I'd really like to trust her but I'm having my doubts thanks a lot sorry for the long post.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Sorry to hear about your pain. I honestly feel that the trust has been broken in this relationship and as she is away at college it would be best to end it. She has already hurt you. If she isn't treating you with the same respect and you need to ditch her. Trust your instincts. You know shes up to no good. Don't let her walk all over you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Hey man, It's really hard when a girl isn't totally straight forward with you. But that doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating or she's gonna leave you. She might just think this guy is really cool, or she just gets on with him really well.Even in a relationship girls still wanna make more male friends too.Try not to be TOO paranoid or constricting, cos that may force her to do something stupid.Try to be cool about it, meet the guy and try and be nice to him... he might become your friend too, you never know how much you've got in common.Maybe try to seem ok with it, like it doesnt bother you that much - but still show you care.Think about why she used to hang out with you before you started dating... have you changed?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Hey man, first thing you need to understand is that the more you question her about it, the more likely she is to do it. It's kind of backwards, but you have to learn to not act on your impulses to grill her about it. The more you do, the more you will push her away and look needy. If, however, you don't ask her about it any more and stop obsessing about it (after all it's completely beyond your control), she will wonder why and will start to need you more. What you are doing currently has put you on a dead end path to misery. Trust me; don't give her so much power over you and realize you are better than that. If she does decide to cheat, let it be her problem. But if you constantly nag at her about every social interaction, you are finished. Good luck man.
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A
male
reader, Diimo  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 Sounds like she's talking out of both sides of her mouth and not taking your relationship as seriously as you are. Trust your instincts, not her. Unless of course you're a glutton for emotional punishment.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 What are you going to do, if you decide you cannot trust her?
Are you strong enough to leave her?
She continued flirting with him, although she perfectly knew it would make you upset. You don't know or know what will come next.
She possibly enjoys making you jealous and unhappy.
Is she able to take it any further?
Try to test her, don't call her even if she calls you, tell her you are busy, treat her coldly and observe her reactions. If she doesn't care, there you have a trouble, if she gets worried and panicky, it is Ok she will either pull herself up, or end this game. (please don't go through, talk to her explain what you feel stuff)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Confront her, tell her you aren't gonna be her doormat and that she shouldn't flirt with other guys, if she can't commit to you and tries usin alcohol as an excuse...she just plain ain't worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): maybe she is just very close freinds with him or not.she could be starting to like him more then you.you should open up to her,tell her how you feel and see whats going on with her and him but do not get upset when you tell her or it will make her upset.i'm a girl so i know how girls get upset.
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