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Always been attracted to girls. But also like watching gay porn. Could my porn use be affecting the fantasies I masterbate to and think about?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Health, Pornography, Sex, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am very confused at the moment. Since I was younger I have always been attracted to girls.

When I see girls in the street, I'm instantly checking them out. Never in real life have I ever looked at a make and though hmm they're attractive... Ever. Now I have a very attractive girlfriend who I love and I always get it up with her, however we haven't had sex yet.

My problem comes from the fact that I get ridiculously aroused by gay porn. Now this made me doubt my sexuality since about 15. I don't watch it much (like once every two months).

However now it seems when masturbating I get more aroused by the thought of male sex.

However back in the real world I am not attracted to them at all. I sometimes get an erection from holding my girls hand. However when the doubts creep in I start to think I don't love her...

Once the "gay" feelings pass (yes they come in phases) I think how stupid was I because if course I love her. Basically I'm mega confused. It seems in fantasies I think gay but in real life I think straight!!

View related questions: erection, gay porn, porn

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A male reader, Silius Sodimus Australia +, writes (12 February 2013):

Lot's of men have watched gay porn or fantasized even if they don't like to admit it.

It's probably just a fantasy because it "taboo" and outside of what is conventional. Iv'e watched gay porn and to be honest I got turned on too.

But when thinking seriously to myself I could never have an actual relationship with a guy, it's more curiosity than anything. I would say dont worry about it.

At worst even if you are Bi, is that a bad thing? No, your just another human being with his own set of unique things that turn him on. no big deal.

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A female reader, Kindpigeonette Japan +, writes (9 February 2013):

I fantasize about other women a lot, but I'm straight. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is probably more common than we think. Good luck!

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2013):

R1 agony auntYou're still young maybe you are still discovering and beginning to understand things about your sexuality and your sexual desires. Enjoying gay porn doesn't necessarily mean you want to have sex with a man....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013):

People often fantasise about things they wouldn't do/don't even like the idea of in real life. There are some common fantasies among many women (I think because it's about domination and gives them 'permission' to have pretend sex with a stranger without seeming 'easy') but it doesn't mean they actually want to be harmed in real life because the reality is obviously much different.

If you have never checked out a guy in real life and you are turned on by your girlfriend then I think your sexual orientation is pretty clear. So just keep enjoying your fantasies and accept that they are completely normal.

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A male reader, shawnmth United States +, writes (9 February 2013):

Maybe you're Bisexual.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (8 February 2013):

person12345 agony auntWhy label it, just do what feels right. If you have no issues with your partner and like to fantasize about men, just do it and don't worry about the label. So long as it's not causing problems in your life, then there's nothing to worry about.

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