A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started having sex 2 years ago and soon found myself sleeping with different guys at parties almost every weekend. There really isnt anything sexually that I didnt try and almost my whole school has labeled me as a "slut'. I know that I deseve it (I have had over 35 partners) but I am trying to change but I fear I will always be "that girl". I have asked my mom to let me change schools but she said no. I dont want to explain to her that the reason I want to move is because of this what should I do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): I dated a girl who had over 100 partners. she changed. the reason she had so many partners was because she was fundamentally in pain angry and missing something. if you move school it won't help as reputations carry over. it'll only help if you move to a far away city.anyway tough it out & fill your need for sex through something else that fulfills you. good luck & god bless
A
female
reader, saisha  +, writes (17 April 2009):
Girl I understand what you are going through and I'm happy that you wish to change. Changing school wont help you dear. Face the rude things for now but prove yourself to them asap, this will make you strong as a person and you will also find OUT who is your true friend. Believe me, you might not like my advice right now but will defintely help you dear. GOD BLESS U. Also try to make your mom a friend, don't tell her everything but try to make her understand what you're going through.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): 35 men - i am glad you are starting to change your ways. you are lucky you are not dead. you now have a second chance, some poeple are not that lucky to get a second chance. Make this one count
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A
male
reader, CrazyMind  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Firstly, I'd like to wish you luck with changing.Changing yourself is something that's not always easy to do, and it can be easy to slip back into what you're used to doing.One thing that's harder, though, is changing everybody else. A lot of people have it in their mind that you're "the slut," and changing their views isn't going to be an easy task.Just be sure of what you want - perhaps abstinence from sex for a while would be a good idea, but stopping sex shouldn't mean you should cease parties - this may be a useful way to get people knowing you're changing - don't let anyone so much as touch you in a sexual manner, and settle down your love life. With time, people should realise that you're no longer "the girl that anybody can have sex with," and that you're no longer an easy catch.You need to find a way to deal with people calling you a slut etc., If anybody mentions "Slut" to you, don't get angry, maybe a "That's in the past" or something; but try not to get visibly frustrated with the comments, or they'll keep coming at you. Try and desensitize yourself from the word. Think of something positive, and link it to the word. "Super Lovely Unique Thing" Err, yeah. :S !I wish you the best of luck, if you want support, feel free to contact me. (Mail me on this site...)Best regards,Chris; Crazy.(Note to moderators, if email not allowed, please remove)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 What we did we cannot change, so I am afraid people in your school will always remember your past. And then, because we human beings like to put others down so we can feel superior, they will continue to point fingers at you, and call you names. That you cannot change.
That does not mean there is nothing you can do. You can have sex only with the guy you're in a serious relationship with. Some people will think you're hypocritical, others will wonder what is the matter with you, and many a guy will complain about why he doesn't get to sleep with you when others did. But you can't go by what people expect from you.
Do that, and your reputation will slowly change, from the bad name they are calling you now, to "a woman who didn't choose wisely in the past, but has learned from her mistakes". Which is the truth.
If you told your mother about why you want to change schools, maybe she would agree to it, but you would have hell at home. And I'm afraid that people in your school wouldn't get to change their minds about you. I think the best way is to stay where you are, and show people you have changed.
I am sure there will be someone who will come your way and say "What the hell...?" when you tell him that there's "nothing" for him in it. See that as an advantage: he will be very vocal about NOT getting to sleep with you, which is what you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): As much as it may suck, you are kind of stuck. The nice thing is that when you get a little older you can move away and reinvent yourself. Maybe it will be at college, or in your career. The trick will be to go somewhere where nobody knows your past, or at least very few. College isn't like high school, rumors aren't as easily spread.
The most important thing you can do is make the change for yourself. You can't change your life If it isn't something you truely want to do. It will be hard!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Well Sweetie you may have made some bad decisions, but that doesn't mean you "deserve" to be treated badly now.
This is a tough one. All I can suggest is that the more you persist as a different person, the sooner people will forget and the easier it will be for them to start thinking of you as someone else. Just keep strong, and work on building a reputation you can be proud of.
If people put you down, tell them that people make mistakes, and that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Time will help, but you need to keep your chin up and not let them get you down. As well as not sleeping with more guys in the meantime! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): i guessing you started having sex at 15 years old. Honey its not going to change because you change schools. What were and are you thinking 35 partners. i am ten years older than you and i have only been with 3 and i was madly in love with them. engaged to two of them and married to one. you need to get your head on straight. honestly i graduated high school 10 years ago so schools haven't changed that much. i had a girl in my class known as a "slut" she carried that name up until we graduated and we were in the 5th grade when she started having sex. and to this day she is still known for that. you need to make a drastic change if you really want to change. You are to young for this. If your mother is like me you better hope she don't find out. Good luck on changing.
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