A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so there's this boy. We started off as friends, but one night we got very drunk and slept together. We carried on sleeping together every time we got drunk. But then we started doing more, so he'd ask me if i wanted to go for lunch or to the cinema or the beach, or even just a film day (minus the sex)... We got close and we'd constantly be texting, hes call me babe, we'd cuddling, we'd kiss (as a greeting, not just as a lead up to sex), he then told me he only liked me 'as a friend he could sleep with' nothing more. He knows that im basically in live with him. But i didnt want to hurt my feelings so i started talking to someone else, and this other boy literally doesnt match up to boy #1 at all. I compare everything. I then kissed one other boy on a night out, boy #1 an me are both friends with this guy i kissed so boy 1 found out. He went absolutel mad and didnt talk to me for days, he admitted he was jealous. Then he started talking to someone else, he told me they were seeing each other. By this time we hadnt talked at all in a month, so i said we should meet up and chat. He then told me he does like me as more than a friend and he inly said he was seeing someone else because he wanted to make me jealous. Apparently this other girl is only a friend, yet she sleeps over, and he'll text her when hes with me, and all this. So you can imagine im not going to like it, but hes basically said shes a friend and thats it. So now every time i see him, he makes sure someone else is with us 'incase we do something we regret' so he's basically saying if it was just us, he'd want to get intimate and stuff. Another thing, is we used to sleep over at each others houses, good morning kisses, the lot. So we were pretty close. Someone please help! All my friends have said to ditch him but im genuinely in love with him. I dont know what to do!
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (31 January 2015):
Okay, if this is the route you're going to take, really treat him as a friend. That means withholding sex. No more drunken one night stands with this dude. You have to protect your heart and not let him use you. Don't flirt or go out of your way to make him feel wanted. Go and pay attention to other guys. After all, he only wanted to be friends right? This should be no problem. Don't give in if after this he comes running and tries to talk you into his bed. Seriously, sex is the last thing you should give him from now on, because right now that seems to be the only thing he's interested in getting from you.
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (30 January 2015):
 If that's what you think you should do, go for it, but I don't think it's wise. At some point, you'll end up in a position you don't want to be in and you'll have to end your friendship, as well as probably having your pride wounded because your real friends were right :/
Either way, I hope it turns out for the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys! Its so hard to just leave everything but im going to have to, everyones saying the same thins, that hes using me..
I think whats best is if i continue to be just friends, treat him how i would my other friends, and then see what happens then.
Thanks again :-)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 January 2015):
 The key to your submittal is this phrase: "...he then told me he only liked me 'as a friend he could sleep with' nothing more....."
Forget any- and everything that your "friends" might offer as opinions. IF you are OK with that phrase (above) then continue on. IF you believe that you are entitled to being more than a soft pussy where a guy (this guy) can put his weenie, then you have to go your separate ways.
P.S. I think you're entitled to more!!!!
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (29 January 2015):
 You two need to stop messing around and playing games.
Sit down and talk with him. You're either an exclusive item or you're not. Find out once and for all what you both want from each other.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 January 2015):
 Tell him what you want. Enough with this game-playing . Just be honest. And decide beforehand what you will do if he says yes, and what you will do if he says no. Simple as that.
If he is a jerk, then believe me, your infatuation will stop shortly after you remove him from your life.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (29 January 2015):
I second what the others have said. You're infatuated, and it's unrequited. He already told you you're a friend and nothing more. Sure, he backtracked on that later when you left, but that's only because he misses the sex, not because he actually sees you as a potential girlfriend. He is also lying about that other girl: she is his FWB and he wants you to be one as well. The whole jealousy speech was to make you feel special (though in my opinion it just makes him come across as more of an asshole.)
Look, when it comes to stuff like this, your friends are a lot more objective than you are. They're not blinded by their love for this guy; they only have your best interests at heart. So listen to them and ditch this dude. He's only after sex, and throwing your body and your affections at him won't make him fall in love with you. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (29 January 2015):
This is infatuation; in my opinion, being IN love takes two.
Your friends are right; the longer you hang around, the more hurt you'll get. He's been very blunt (for the most part) and it will be your own fault if you proceed and get hurt :/
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