A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I made a monumental mistake. I had sex with my best guy friend I mean we are talking years of a friendship! Immediately after it happened I broke down and cried I realized I wasn't crying because I regereted the act but the fact that our friendship would be forever changed. Not to mention I was a little freaked out when we hooked up he told me he loved me! When I told two of my friends their reaction was "finally we were wondering when you two would get over yourselves and acknowledge you were attracted to each other" I've never really felt anything more than a friendship for him prior to this and we've been completely wasted around each other before so I can't blame it on alcohol so what made this time different? The day after it happened he sent me a text simply asking how I was doing. And that was the last I've heard from him aside from me texting him to hangout blindly thinking things would be the same but he always had an excuse not to hangout. Now I think I may actually love or have feelings for him but it's clear he never wants to take it there again. I just have no idea what to do should I try to reach out to salvage our friendship or let him know how I feel to start an actual relationshi or just let it go?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I think the fact that you cried after sex has scared him. I know I'd be horrified if this happened to me. I'd think I did something wrong. You need to tell him how you feel. Don't let him ignore you. You need to have a conversation with him. I'm sure that once he knows how you're feeling, he won't be ignoring you anymore. He was very likely confused and scared, and thinks that things have been ruined. Let him know they haven't.
He wouldn't have taken it that far if he didn't want it too. He told you that he loves you. That doesn't change over night.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I think you need to try to reach out to him and explain what exactly prompted you to go into a sobfest right after having sex, I don't think that necessarily is the biggest ego boost. Tell him what you want to happen next, whether it is just back to friends just to have him in your life still (might have to take a couple months on that..) or something more, but i think it's important to say that you don't regret what happened, you were just overwhelmed etc.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 June 2010):
 your frienship is onlychanged if you think its changed im sure he still wants to be your friend reach out your to old for this besides if your lucky you only live once so go for it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): tell him how you really feel and what you really want..........if he feels the same then is all up to you guys ,...... but if he doesn't , ........ at least you showed the real friendship you have for him.......
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