A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and nearly a grown man and i having problems with myself. I put myself down all the time and its taken over my life making me sad. One reason is because i feel like i don't look good in the face, i feel like i look old and ugly and black and because me and my dad look alike i feel like i look old and don't look like a normal teenager. i see these other boys who look good and look kinda young and i'll wish i was them because they look like a normal teenager. people tell me i look good but i don't see it. Another reason is because im not like most boys i don't play sports, talk to girls on normal basis, have girlfriends on normal basis, and just do guy stuff, i see other boys and i'll say why can't i be like that because im shy and stay at home all the time and don't do much but reason why i believe im not like most boys is because i grew up without my father around mainly the whole time. What can i do to spark myself up because this depresses me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Don worry.. U know how is the famous singer AKON,he is a hollywood singer who is very dark.. But still he has achieved fame in his life.. I assure you no one ever will see how you are until you are nothing. Work for your future and achieve your dreams.. All these feelings will then go away automatically.. People respect a person for what he is not for how he is.. If u understand this you can surely be happy.. All the Best..
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (13 June 2010):
You just need a bit more self confidence.
Maybe force yourself to go to the gym [or just do exercises at home ] and tone up your bod : girls love a cute ass and anyone can work to get that at least ! :)
Plus - doesn't your school have a counsellor you can talk to ?
And what's this 'black' business ? Did you check out the President lately ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): You are only 16! please you do not need to have your life 'sorted' at this age.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): Go out clubbing!! Just pull one girl to get your confidence then you'll go back out for tht week with some more confidence in your step... And it will show!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): Stop worrying about the things you can't change for a start. Getting depressed about yourself does you no good at all and nobody likes hanging around a sad sack, which in turn will make you MORE depressed... and the cycle repeats.
You don't need to do what all the other guys are doing just because you think that's what you should be doing. They do what they do (sports, etc.) because they enjoy it... if you don't enjoy something then why do it?? Find something you enjoy and to hell with what anyone else thinks. People don't judge you as much as I think that you think they do. Seriously... teenagers have a million of their own problems to think about already and that really doesn't leave much brain space for anything else, let alone enough to judge you for whatever reason.
So you can either waste time getting depressed about your life- which achieves nothing, or you can get angry, get off your butt and improve things in your life that you can and want to change!! So you don't talk to or date girls on a regular basis... You can either watch guys do it and wonder why you can't be like that or you can realize that these guys weren't always confident and naturally good with women. They only got that way after making a tonne of mistakes with women, sucking up their shyness and gaining experience.
Suck it up man, you can do anything you want.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 June 2010):
 do you look old because of a medical conditon or your just saying you look old because you thnk you look old. if its not a medical conditon dont worry about it means you have strong features in your genes as the other guys grow and get old youll stay the same there will come a point when they look old and you havnt changed. start going to the gym pimp out your ride redo your wardrobe go to church. ha alot of guys grew up with out a father well i got God so im good. just be thankful for what you got in life
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A
female
reader, heizy  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 That's sad. For me, how can others be appreciating you if you think that way. Beauty and good looks have no standard at all. That is within you. If you are very positive and optimistic, you are handsome. Take it from me.
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