A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So last night a whole bunch of us got together and drank. I ended up hooking up with my friend's friend who I actually just met that night. I slept over at his house and we basically made out all night and I went down on him...I'm so confused now because I dont know if this was just a one night kind of thing because I've never just hooked up with someone that I've just met. He dropped me off at my house and he didn't even get my number or anything and I didn't give him mine and I was just kind of like see you. I dont know if he wants more and I dont know how to even approach asking him. What are your suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Bottom line, if he wanted it to be more than a casual hook up, it would be. You two have a mutual friend, and if he wanted to contact you, I'm sure he could.KP84
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe didn't have sex though and we had the emotional connection because we were holding hands and he was holding me while we were at my friends boyfriends house. I think for now I'm just going to go with it and if he does want more I'm sure he will say something to my freind or find some way to hangout although I did add his facebook.Haha, and for sure no more one night things for meeee.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): I had a one-nighter that turned into a four year tempestuous relationship. For him it was just about the sex, when I really wanted a committed loving relationship.He'd turn on the charm for the sex, I'd see the sex as a commitment and he'd run a mile when I mentioned loving him...hmmm ..sighs.. Needless to say I was the one who got hurt in the end. Even though in our age of equal opportunities and sexual equality a lot of guys even now don't respect a girl if she gives the goods away on the first night. Yes of course the guys want the sex but a lot still have this old fashioned viewpoint.. If she gives it away first time then she'll give it to anyone. I'd say if he doesn't contact you then you can be assured that he doesn't want to take it any further. But if he does get in touch then he may just be looking for sex from you and not a relationship. So just bear this in mind because you don't want to get hurt if it is a proper committed relationship you are looking for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Well check this out. One time I met this guy at a bar and we had a fabulous time and at the end of the night we both got really nervous and shy and just said goodbye and he didn't ask for my number. In the moment I felt so bad.So a week later, I went back to the bar, (cause I knew he'd be there), and he was, and I never mentioned anything about what happened I was just totally cool and just so happy to see him. We ended up hanging out all night and he confessed that he felt awful about walking away without my #, and said that he got nervous. So at the end of the night, this time we kissed goodbye, he got my number. And guess what? HE NEVER CALLED. This time I didn't go back to the bar.And a week and a half later he shows up at my JOB! He had remembered where I had told him that I worked and went to see me. And explained to me that he had by accident deleted my #. Point is, no matter how shy he is, if he likes you he will look for you and find you, even if he didn't get your number the first time around.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 In my younger years i did have a one nighter once & he left and we didnt swap numbers. He put his number through my door the following monday. And i dated him for one turbulent year haha so i guess you never know.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Guys are like that. When you get physical without any emotional connection, especially going so far as to have oral sex, they act like that. And, yes, for him it was a one night thing. But it is because of that.
But, like for instance, the first night I met my ex boyfriend, I slept over his house and we kissed and might have made out, but before that happened we had an emotional connection. We were talking and laughing all night at a party we met at and we both KNEW that we liked each other. It was MORE than physical.
And above all, I felt like I had control over the situation. And knew that it would not be a one night thing. I KNEW he liked me. That is something that as you get more mature, will be easier for you to figure out and understand. In the meantime, try to be FRIENDS with guys FIRST and be sure they like you (it's a feeling, you just know) before you get physical with them. That is if you want more out of the encounter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Well it's obvious for me that this was just a one night stand for both of you. You just feel shocked at yourself because you've never done it before. In your mind it's not right but you did it and at the time you didn't thought of the consequenses. And now that you did you feel that you should maybe leave the doors open for some kind of meaningful relationship between you two. That's a rare possibility for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): It was a one-nighter for him but if YOU want more then ask your friend about him then talk to him and spend time with him and then make the desicion if you two have chemistry or not
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (12 August 2007):
The downfalls of casual sex with someone you have only just met.
Yes it was a one nighter for him.
I would watch the drinking & not hook up with blokes on the first night, unless you dont mind one nighters of course.
C xxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell his friend did tell me he was kind of shy when it came to girls. I honestly hope he dosent think of it as a one night stand but maybe we're just both in the same boat and didn't know what to do afterwards because we're both un-sure. Who knowssss. I sure wish I did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is a pretty shy guy though and he probably thinks the same thing that I probably think. But you're right it probably just was a one night stand because you think he would have at least gotten my number or some form of contact from me.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 It seems like this was a one-night stand for him. He doesn't seem interested in seeing you.
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