A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a woman who likes to live life according to plans. I had my next year all planned out and my heart set on it working out as so. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We just graduated from college and I have one year before I go off to another state for graduate school (assuming i get accepted). My plan was to get engaged and married before I went off to school, but he wasn't quite as ready to take the leap. I have spent the last year planting the seed and telling him how much I just want to get married and start our life together, now finally he is ready. Now, when we are down to the wire I have an epiphany and realize that I have spent so much time convincing him, and at the same time, myself, that this it the right thing to do - that I now don't know whether it is my heart of my head that wants this anymore. My biggest fear is whether or not I could spend the middle years of our life together or if we will grow bitter, mean, and complacent like his parents have become. Is this just normal? Should we hold off on the engagement? Should we take time apart? Together? Am I just holding on because it is comfortable and easy, and breaking up would just be too painful?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 July 2010):
You two should not be getting married at this time. Period. You've spent all this time convincing him to do something he was't sure of, and now you're not sure of it. Neither of you are ready yet. He had to be forced, and you're having second thoughts. Hit the breaks, and spend more time being a couple, and not worrying about marriage at this time.
A
female
reader, girlygirl601 +, writes (15 July 2010):
Definately hit the brakes if you're having second doubts. Its natural to get cold feet but always make sure that you're marrying the man and not the "idea" of getting married. Take your time and don't pressure yourself, It will come eventually. :-)
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A
male
reader, JamesBM +, writes (15 July 2010):
The irony went and got tough. Well you went too ahead, do you WANT to marry him or are you planning to?
Ask yourself, do you love the guy?
Do you want to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him?
Your question isn't for us to answer. It's for you to answer.
Cheers and Good luck - James.
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