A
male
age
30-35,
*va-Genesis
writes:I recently returned from the army to my wife. In base there was not a female we could interact with and having no sex for so long drives one mad. Don't get me wrong even if I could interact I wouldn't cheat on her.On my first night here, we got busy, but after that she is never in the mood for anything. After so much time away from her to come back and only have sex once is pretty sad.What should I do about this?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2009):
Spend time doing other things. She misses you a lot and probably misses just being close to you. Try doing things with her when you get back, other than just sex. Be interested in HER and she'll open up. Talk to her and make her feel like she's adored!
A
female
reader, Roadster73 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 me & my other half have lots of time away from each other because of work.. Sometimes when he comes back after a month or so, as soon as we have kids in bed, we literally run upto bed & rip each others clothes off & have sex but too be honest 9 times out of 10 it feels a bit werid, like we lost the gel between us, it sometimes takes us days or weeks too get back too normal, and it normally takes lots of cuddles on the sofa at night, having a giggle with each other, doing the norm again, then our relationship seems too go back too normal & we start gelling in bed again!! Just give her time she needs to re-adjust!!
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 Sometimes when people have been apart for a while it takes a while to rebuild that level of intimacy again. Even gaps of just a couple of weeks can make things fel awkward beween couples. As the other posters have said make her feel wanted and desirable, tell her how lovely she is and just how much you love her. It's all about building things up again and I too would like to take this opportunity to thank you for 'serving'. All the best,
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (24 September 2009):
 You went crazy with no sex while on base, but men like you and I want sex very deeply, it's important to us to feel loved and desired. But many women (most even), miss the emotional closeness much much more. You missed the sex, she missed you. She may even have gotten bitter that you've been gone for so long and she doesn't feel close to you like she did.Be open an honest and apologetic to her for being gone. Tell her that sex makes you feel loved and important just like dinner and cuddles and talking make her feel loved, and try to compromise, but understand that she may need time to rediscover her closeness to you before she feels sexy again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): obviously we dont know what is going on here...but babe something is not right with this picture. Just totally not right. She should be as ...ready as you are. At least close. Ultimately you are going to have to get her to be honest with you...~thank you for serving ~ and good luck. Keep us posted
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Maybe your wife thought that everything would be normal when you came back. Its normal that you guys should have sex as ye are married but to actually want it might take romance.
You have been away, show your wife that you care and that you find her physically sexually and emotionally attractive. In short you need to woo her make her realise that she isnt just being used for sex ( I know you arent but of youve been trapped on a base then maybe she feels that you would willingly have sex with anyone) She needs to feel special.
I hope this helps.
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