A
female
age
41-50,
*pset123
writes:Hi. I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist for an addiction to running. Sounds silly I know but it's a huge problem for me. I'm injured at the moment and can't run for about 3 months more, it's been 2 already. Problem is that my partner is a runner too and I have to watch him train for races etc and it's killing me more than I can say. He is obsessive about it too so I'm wondering whether we can survive because I can't handle him doing it while I can't. I do realise how stupid this sounds but I have a real problem. He doesn't run in front of me but I of course know it's still a huge part of his life each day and him doing the races I can't do breaks my heart. It puts me in a constant state of anxiety and sickness and although I'm getting help and it's not forever I'm worried about the meantime. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (23 February 2011):
Hi OP
How old are your children? Not all that old I am guessing. Can't you make them a priority over the running, to give you something to focus on while your partner is training? Incidentally, I am wondering how you manage to fit in kids and a career if you both run or used to run at least one hour daily and then races at weekends. Surely something has to suffer here.
OP if you really love your kids then surely you will see that staying together with their dad for their sake is the overriding important factor here.
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 You run a 26 mile marathon each weekend? I’m not a doctor, but aren’t you supposed to rest one day for every mile you run, or something like that? If you want to run, that’s great, but you won’t be running for very long, unless you do it properly. Right now, you are injured. Is this a running related injury?
Do you plan on staying with this man? And is he trying to help you overcome this anxiety?
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A
female
reader, Upset123 +, writes (22 February 2011):
Upset123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonymous male, as I'm 30 next month and partner 41 with 2 kids and both of us having careers and financial responsibilities I'm not sure how much growing up there is left to do!
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A
female
reader, Upset123 +, writes (22 February 2011):
Upset123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFloridacatgirl I ran every day, for 1 to 2 hours each weekday and a marathon race each weekend. My boyfriend runs competitively so runs every day, training for a marathon. When you train for one, it does become a big thing in your life so it's kinda important all the time if that makes sense. So I can't really get away from running whilst trying to recover. It's very hard
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (22 February 2011):
You have made a wise decision to get therapy for this addiction. Running is a wonderful activity, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When something begins interfering with the rest of your life, regardless of whether the activity is positive or negative, you need to get help. Fortunately, you have done exactly that!
You wrote, “He doesn't run in front of me but I of course know it's still a huge part of his life each day.” Unless you’re a professional athlete, running should not be the biggest part of your day. I assume you also have a job, household responsibilities, shopping, and a social life to juggle, as well. Prior to your injury, how many hours per day (and days per week) did you devote to running? Also, how much time does your partner spend running?
I’m curious…what has your psychiatrist diagnosed the problem as? You mentioned in your post that you have anxiety, and you said, “he is obsessive about it too.” Do you have OCD (a form of anxiety)? And what has your therapist suggested you do to overcome your problem?
You have received excellent advice from everyone. Serenity80 made a very important point here… If you were two alcoholics and one of you had stopped drinking and was in recovery, I'd recommend them to get far away from the other alcoholic whilst they can!” Great analogy! You are addicted to running, as is your partner. How is your relationship with this man?
I look forward to hearing your responses to my questions. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Your addiction is healthy (IMO). I wish I could addicted to exercise like you. :-) You are wondering whether your relationship will survive. Well if it doesn't survive because of this little issue, then this relationship is not worth keeping. There are more in life than "running". Maybe when you both grow up a little bit, you will learn that kids, career, financial, etc will be much bigger issues. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Upset123 +, writes (22 February 2011):
Upset123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey :) I know I have issues and am getting help at the mo. I don't want my life to be obsessive any more which is why I'm having counselling. It's just it's killing me being with another runner while I can't run, he's pretty obsessive about it too so just don't know if it's going to stop me getting better
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A
female
reader, Upset123 +, writes (22 February 2011):
Upset123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey :) I know I have issues and am getting help at the mo as this is an unhealthy obsession. Im just not sure whether it's ok to be in a relationship with someone who is also pretty obsessive about it. While I cant run it's just tearing me apart
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 "can we survive this?" Yes you two can. The love of my life is a long distance runner. Early 2010 we were in a horrific accident. She is in a wheel chair with a spinal cord injury. Right after this happened my sister told me this would bring us closer together and I would love her more. I didn't think we could possibly be any closer than we already were or that I could possibly love her any more. I was wrong, period. I was wrong. We are closer and I lover her so much more. She is truly an amazing woman. While I can't explain this and to some people it makes no sense but for us it is fact. So yes, you two can survive this together and go on to thrive. I have seen it and I am living it.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (22 February 2011):
It sounds like the injury could be a blessing in disguise. Why aren't you working with your psychiatrist to get over this addiction, rather than obsessing with watching your partner run? If you were two alcoholics and one of you had stopped drinking and was in recovery, I'd recommend them to get far away from the other alcoholic whilst they can!
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