A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there can anybody give me some advice please? I started seeing a guy last year, he is of different religion to me and within a few days i could tell he was a jealous person and trying to gain control of me. He didnt like me going out with friends, talking to my own son and working. I would get the silent treatment, which does not bother me in the least! That wont work with me as i have been there before and i will not let someone do that again. So i was just frustrating the guy as he couldnt get the control. But also i knew it was pointless to be with him because of his family and religion. He told me that in his previous relationships the women were desperate for him and would do anything for him! Seems funny these women are no longer with him! I actually did tell him not to expect that from me. After a while of not seeing him as i said it was pointless i said i would remain friends, he rang me and asked me to go to his friends place and have a drink. When i got there he seemed to have lost weight, he does drink and take drugs. Yes not good boyfriend material but i do like him as a friend. He tried to get it on with me and i told him no, we are just friends, i know i have no future with you. He then told me (after all this time) i could have future with him. Anyway we stayed the night at his friends place, nothing happened in a sexual way, but in the morning one of his friends who had been asleep all night and ( i dont think my ex wanted me to meet) and who i had not met before seemed to take a shine to me and he was very kind to me as i was not well at all in the morning. My ex wouldnt even get me any water or tablets when he saw his friend being nice to me, and just left me there at his friends place even when i said wait for me. Its been 2 weeks now since i heard from my ex since he walked out of his friends flat, i had tried to contact him but im getting the silent treatment and i dont mind. But ive started seeing his friend, who does not drink or take drugs, is a professional guy. He calls me 2 or 3 times a day. And always happy to see me, but i have work commitments so obviously i cant see him as much as i would like to. Does anybody think i am doing anything wrong? As i do feel a bit bad that it is one of my ex friends but thats all, as he did not treat me well. Even if he is so jealous that does not mean he cares for me does it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy  +, writes (22 February 2011):
I don't think you're doing anything wrong under the circumstances. Its not like you're being a hoe and sleeping with everyone you see.
Your ex was obviously wasn't for you. He seems overly jealous, controlling, selfish, and completely unkind.
It sounds like you've got a good thing going with this new guy, and I think you should keep going with it. Whatever makes you happy.
And no, just because the guy is jealous, that doesn't mean he cares about you. Some people are just really jealous. I wouldnt spend the time worrying about him if I we're you. He's not worth it.
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