A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i need help. I am so love sick. I pine for the man that i love. We were together for 6 years. My heart was his the moment i 1st saw him. For me i could never love another the way that i love him. It consumes me. He does love me but not in the same way anymore. It kills me, i literally feel the pain in my chest. Nothing seems right without him. It has been a year now since i let him go and i have cryd so many tears. I have accepted the truth. Its over. I get it. Thats why im dying inside. How do i move on. I have tryd everyones advice. I have surrounded myself with friends and family. I have gone out and socialised. I have treated myself to a new look. I want to heal coz my god it hurts but its getting worse. I miss him more each day. This is forever. I am more and more sad everyday. How do i ever go on with such a void in my life. Please help me! Im so lost.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): You never really can get over someone who you truly loved, you just learn how to live without them. And oh how it hurts to lose a partner...but time heals wounds. Time always does...And it's only a matter of when. Hang in there...I know it can become hard often at times but everything always turns out fine in the end. I promise-I'm a survivor of three lost loves.
Best regards.
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (27 April 2009):
dont worry darling you well get over it as soon as you fall inlove with someone else as love cures lovei passed the same situation when i broke up with my cheating ex,thought it was very hard and i continued lvoing her untill and never forgot for about 3 years untill i saw my wife fell inlove with my her and forgot all about exjus remember love cures love,nothing else does
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Dear Lovefool, Have you thought of becoming a song writer, I hear they make good money from these things?
He has gone, its over, finished basta - finito etc. IF you love him as you claim, then you have to let him go completely. For him and you. It shows him how much you really loved him get over him, so he doesn't feel any pain or remorse so it doesn't hurt him in some way. If you love him as you claim, hold your head up high and be proud of what you shared, of the happy times you had. But move on.
My guess is you will never truly get over him. live with it, be glad to have shared it, be happy and move on.....So Mr perfect No.1. has gone - well have you found Mr who came in at No.2. with a split vote between them? He is out there, I promise you - just find him.
The good news however, is if you look (or rather could look) you will find your heart is still there - I promise you. The void you talk about and these other things are nothing to do with your heart. Your heart is fine.
The problem is your head. This is the organ that does the thinking. So you actually have a broken head! (lets see the song writers write about that) This is the organ that fills the void with laments and frustrations and the only ifs. You control your head (mostly) so I have some questions for you - please answer them:
1) A man dressed all in black is walking down a country lane. Suddenly a large black car without any lights on comes round the corner and screeches to a halt.
How did the driver know there was a man in the road?
2) A fishing boat is lying in the harbour. There is a rope ladder hanging over the side with its end touching the water. The rungs of the ladder are 1 metre apart and the tide is rising at 50 centimetres an hour. At the end of 6 hours, how many of the rungs will be covered?
ok so what happend there - did you forget about him for a few seconds while your brain was doing something else? did it?
ok so my cure for your broken head is: get your head busy. I don't mean necessarily by socialising (although that helps). Think of anything but him - think of where you want to go on holiday. What you would do if you had 24 hrs in Rome. Go out meet people. talk to people, take up a hobby, write a novel...build an elephant from chocolate (life size), cook the best meal, rearrange your books alphabetically, go to the gym.....but most all think of anything but him - use Johnny Depp as a surrogate when you think of him.....just drop JD in naked instead.
Keep your head busy - your heart will eventually follow....
Hugs, Star.x.
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A
female
reader, Mikados are lush! +, writes (27 April 2009):
 I think what everyone has said makes a lot of sense, all I will add is its common to remember only the good times, not the bad, which is what has you tricked into thinking this guy is the bees knees. Its a classic and you need to write down the negative things about him and the relationship and remind yourself how that made you feel at the time.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I want to be able to be ok without him. I feel guilt. I think mayb it was my fault. He is a good man & a good father to our son. I sufferd a bad bout of depression & our relationship just fell apart. I took it out on him a lot. Blamed him a lot. Im not a bad person but i got nasty at times through frustration. He didnt know how to be there 4 me. He wuld leave me & go out drinking so that was were i felt he neglected me. I needed him & he wasnt there. Things would have been ok. We had just started a new family. Settled down. Then i got sick with depression. I lost the life inside of me. Ive never got it back. Nothing has been the same since. I can undastand why he slowly lost love for me. Im just not the same person anymore. Not the woman i was when he fell in love with me. I guess i pushed him away. Im so messed up. Im sorry. Just confused. Thankyou for your answers its greatly appreciated.
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (27 April 2009):
 Time is the greatest healer. I know, I've been where you are now,once in my twenties and again in my fifties (which I didn't expect).It took me between 4 to 5 years to get over each of those.The process was painful for each and I found the thing that helped the most was to get into another relationship.When you do meet somebody new accept him for the person he is and don't try to look for your ex in him. Somebody new may not be as perfect but it does help you to forget and to move forward a little.Very,very gradually you will find that you think of him less often.Also surround yourself with your friends and keep yourself occupied, take up a hobby, join a club and fill your life with as much as possible to avoid moping around being depressed.I bet he's not wasting his time moping around after you, so don't waste your time either.
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A
female
reader, kaz38 +, writes (27 April 2009):
YOU HAVE TO WANT TO MOVE ON,WHO DECIDED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP,i DONT WANT TO SOUND HARSH BUT ITS BEEN A YEAR,i ended a 8 year relationship only three days ago,its really hard,but get a grip of yourself,think of all the positive things you have going for you,there are plenty of fish in the sea,you have to beleive in yourself,love yourself,and have faith.I know you can do it so cheer up its not the end of the world.take care caroline.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 April 2009):
From the sounds of it you have gone through the motions of trying to get over him but you have missed out one vital thing:
You have to WANT to get over him.
You still call him the "Man I love." No.
He is the "Idiot who missed his chance with the best woman he'll ever have." THAT is what you should be thinking of.
You have to get angry. Moping about and feeling like a victim and a martyr is not enough.
He had you and gave you up. He's a MORON. As soon as you stop worshipping him and start looking down on him you will be able to see that he is not worth loving.
But you need to take him off the giant pedestal in the shrine that you have in your head for him.
Good Luck!! xx
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