A
female
age
41-50,
*ubberduck391
writes:Boy Friend trouble....Need help figuring it all out...Is he cheating?OK I have posted before asking questions and I have to add more details. I am currently 28 years with a 9 year old little girl and my boy friend is 48. He has kids himself and he is still married but not living together. they have not filed any paper work to move along to divorce. He has told me that the love in his marriage had been dead for years and that is why he cheated on his wife of 23 years because he fell in love with another woman. She also said she would kill herelf if he left her. I broke it off with him 2 weeks ago because the way he treated me and that he always wanted to hang out with his friends. I have been intigrating him in with my daughter so that we can all be a family. But recently a girl came up to my door and said that she had been seeing my b/f for some time and that she had seen the text messages that we send to each other and handed me my business card that she said she found in his pants. She said she was done with him and all his drama and she left before i could ask her any questions. I confronted him about it and he let me check his email, myspace, facebook, phone records and his phone. He said he cares about me and wants to be with me and that he does not know who this girl is. he sent me pics of all his ex's he dated in the last year to see if it was one of them that came to see me and it wasn't any of them. Last month someone called his work trying to get me and him in trouble so this is twice now that someone is wanting him and i not to be together and it makes me want to be with him 10X more. My best friend has heard all the good and bad with him and she has worked with him and his friends before but never met him personally and she calls me a retard/stupid for believing this guy. She said you had a girl come to your door not freaking out but just informing you that she was seeing him too. I don't know what to think any more Im confused. I love him and i have been cheated on before by my 1st husband. I am a successful attorney and so is he so I am not here for the money.
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best friend, divorce, facebook, fell in love, his ex, money, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): if you were in the audiance of a movie the plot would be clear.
you know more than the words i have read - just see the picture and you'll know the obvious truth.
forget what you want to belive - thats got nothing to do with it - the truth is the truth - what is the truth?
A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (18 June 2009):
Cheaters are liars, you should have learned that from the husband you had who cheated on you.
He's lying to you, plain and simple. "My wife will kill herself if I leave her", that's the biggest load of horse manure I've ever heard.
He's leading you on and you're allowing it to happen. Think about your daughter, do you think this relationship is healthy for her?
I outed the guy my wife was cheating with to his wife. Nobody does that as a joke or kicks so it was the truth, he's just snowballing you into believing him. And since you've believed his "story" before he knows he can do it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 June 2009):
 What's the reason he gives you for not divorcing his wife?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Have you asked yourself the question of why, if he is an attorney, has he not filed for divorce? I mean if he is really serious with you then that should have been something that he would want to do. No? Your only 28! He is 48. Big difference. I think you should not put up with his stuff anymore. I agree with your girlfriend. You have a whole life ahead of you, why would you want to put up with this? Why would someone come to your door and claim to know him? I've never had anyone come to my door claiming to know my husband.
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A
female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Sounds to me like he is cheating and he got caught, so he is trying his damnest to cover his tracks. Of course you want to believe him...you love him...but that still doesn't change the fact that he is cheating. Another woman showed up at your door step with proof of an affair. I don't know what else you need. If you don't get rid of this guy now he is only going to do it again and again.
You have to set the example for your daughter. Don't let her see that it is okay to be treated like shit from a man. Wouldn't you want to teach her stand up for herself and to settle for nothing less than perfection (or close to it). You shouldn't settle either. You are young and successful...get rid of this guy and find someone who will respect you and your relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): lets see - he is still married, cheated on his wife of 23 yrs with someone else. now he is cheating on her with you. and you don't have a problems with that! speaks volumes.
a girl comes to your door claiming he has been with her as well. you do not believe her. in fact after all the drama you still want this married man 10 times more.
well, then nothing anyone advises you here will change your mind. strange that you were hurt by your 1st hb cheating on you, yet you know this man is married, and it doesn't bother you in the least. relaise this , he did not fall out of love wiith his long standng wife - he fucked up. he had an affair, just like he is doing now. you are doing your 9 yr old more harm. i wonder whether you even mind this since you are so obsessed with this man. people here have told you the first time that he is cheating, yet you choose not to listen.
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