A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, soooooo...Well, to begin, I kind of really like my teacher...I know there are lots of questions about teacher-crushes on here but mine is different.I know nothing is ever gonna happen, he's happily married and has a baby.I just want to know, do older people sometimes fancy younger girls? -The age difference between us is 11 yrs-I just really want to know what teachers or whoever think about students....Do adults think high school aged teens are really imature?Do teachers occasionaly find students attractive -in no way they would ever make a move- ?I just want this teacher to like me as a student and to respect me - nothing more, how should I act around him?Thanks for ansering........
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female
reader, nicole5178  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Some male teachers do get caught up in the moment--in the high school atmosphere--and occasionally have that single, one-time inappropriate thought. I'd say that teachers rarely ever have a second inappropriate thought, especially on the same girl. And usually all of this is with 17-18 year old girls, or college-aged students.
I think friendships are fine between older men and younger women, as long as it never progresses to anything that would entail one person in the relationship taking advantage of a position of power. If that is your correct age, you really are too young for your teacher, no matter how deeply you feel you connect... in a couple of years you'll see how much you've changed since you were 15.
As far as teachers respecting students, it's more on a personal level that's specific to each student. If you've overcome a serious accident/illness yourself or in your family, I'd say that's worthy of respect no matter how old/young you are... certain things just entitle you to respectful treatment. You know when you deserve it, and you command it. If you're unsure, you probably need a bit more life experience to receive the maturity you are hoping for, because it doesn't come easily--you would know it if it had happened and wouldn't be asking the question.
Contrary to the previous postings, maturity more often then not is the ability to see and work beyond grades and tests. It's more about understanding that life isn't about numbers and should be savored. So maybe don't just "focus on grades and studying."
A
female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Well let me say this, all teachers are human. So in any case of coarse they might feel attracted to a student. Whether they act on that feeling or not is their desision. But yes they can feel attracted to a student, most teachers are unlikely to act on it. And if they do, usually they get caught. So beware and I think Collaroy may be right, you probably have quite a big crush on this teacher. But this is your life just here to advise, so hopefully I helped.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): There's a lot of hype over age in relationships. I'm 26 and I fancy a girl 11 years younger than me (and I think she likes me too). However, until she's legal, there's not much I can do about it, other than try to be friendly with her and her family.
If an older guy likes you, I think that it would be pretty obvious from his actions. For instance, he may do things like volunteering to help out with work around your home or make excuses to hang out with you. At least until you're legal, as long as he keeps things platonic, there's nothing wrong with it. Just, be careful. Misunderstandings are easily made, and people tend to assume the worst.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Hi,
I was a high school teacher. We don't think the students are immature, we see them as young boys and girls who have been trusted by their parents to make sure they are educated. NOTHING ELSE. You have to understand that.
It is natural that teachers and students can become friendly, it is human nature to like certain students, for their attitude to work, their overall friendly disposition etc. But what you are hiding here and not being entirely honest with us ( lets face it you have a major crush on this man there is no point denying it )is that you want him to be very friendly with you , almost like one of your close friends.
Now I'm not saying you want anything sexual, but you have to understand that any idea of a friendship between a male teacher and a young girl is not acceptable on any level. The only thing that would happen would be him losing his job and you most likely being sent to another school.
You just have to accept that in today's world a young girl cannot befriend an adult male.
This is not to say you cannot be friendly with this teacher, of course you can, but if you really like him the best favour you can do is to work hard, listen to his lessons and be pleasant, for that he will be grateful and one day when you leave school you may even be able to be his friend.
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Yes, most adults think high school kids are really immature (and when you get older, you will too).
As a general rule, don't count on 'older' men being attracted to girls in your age range.
But obviously high school teachers are occasionally interested in their kids, that's why you see so many of them getting fired and/or arrested for having sexual relationships with them.
Act kind, not flirty. Keep it civil and polite. Don't try to forge a friendship or anything deeper with him. Go to him for school related help when you need it. Do your homework, pay attention in class, get good grades. That's how you'll earn respect from your teachers.
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