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female
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anonymous
writes: Sorry but i don`t know what to do. A mutusal girlfriend is forever calli ng round to discuss her sexual problems withj my husband. The sexual tension is palpable and despite telli ng him i feel threatened he calls me paranoid. To get the agony over with i allowed a situation to arise where they both kissed passionatrely several times.I hurt..like crazy and thought i could handle it. I can`t. It flashes back and I haven`t eaten for days. She still comes round and can`t keep her eyes off him. Of course he enjoys the attention but I am ready for leavinng and letting them get on with kit,.He tells me he woujldn`t jeopardise oujr marriage but underlying that is the message he still finds her a huge turn on.Please...how do OI hand;le thisdistressed Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 May 2006):
 You need to tell your husband that you aren't comfortable with the relationship he has with this "mutual friend"! He isn't respecting you or his marriage by behaving in this way especially when they have already kissed...he should't have any contact with her at all! You need to sit her down and tell her that you are on the verge of breakdown because of this, that its not fair what either of them are doing, as your friend she shouldn't be relying on your husband for advise and as your husband he shouldn't be your friends shoulder to cry on...as far as the sexual tension comes inot it...if there is sexual tension between them then your husband out of love and respect for you should be uncomfortable to be in her company not lavishing in it! Not eating is really bad and it isn't helping your problem. Talk to your friend first and then talk to your husband, tell them how you feel, if they love and respect you they wouldnt want you to feel this way and they will understand that you are feeling this way and will be more aware of it, the are destroying your esteem...Please keep me posted on this...look after yourself.
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (8 May 2006):
 A FRIEND??
You are being manipulated and your husband is behaving in a way that is disrespectful and completly wrong.
No doubt you let them kiss to test your husband, and now it has done more harm than good where your relationship is concerned.
Tell this woman to get lost, and tell your husband if you find out he's still seeing her you'll consider ending the marriage, you need to be able to trust your husband, you never will with this woman about!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2006): I think this is well out of order. I would be inclined to visit her on her own and spell it out that you're not happy with this situation. firstly if she is a good friend to you then she will probably back off and realise how upset she is making you feel.secondly if she still continues to visit your husband then she is no real friend and make it clear that she is no longer welcome in your home.
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (7 May 2006):
 Oh sweet girl, you just cannot allow this vixen into your home anymore. She is in the process of stealing your husband out from under your very nose and it is up to you to put an end to it ...
Cut your ties with her. She has no business discussing her sexual problems with him and she is really no friend at all.And honey, your husband needs to know where to draw the line... he has stepped over the boundaries, so you have to take charge of the situation and not stand back for this girl to seduce him away from you, if you want to save the marriage.
Tell her to go to a sex therapist to listen to her problems and have a restraining order in place, if she wont get the message.Sometimes you have to take the tough approach... Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (7 May 2006):
 My friend, why did you allow them to kiss passionately? That is a recipe for disaster. Kissing is one sure way to strengthen feelings between two people, apart from sex it is the closest physical, intimate contact a man and a woman can have and if there was even a hint of sexual tension or chemistry between them, kissing will only lead to stronger feelings. I am sorry to say this, but if you are not careful, I reckon they may end up having an affair and that is something you cant allow to happen. The more you tell him how hurt you are feeling he will constantly use that to mnake you think that you are losing your mind and eventually, this will weaken you to the point where they will have a psychological advantage over you. Tell your friend that if she has problems in her marriage, it is not appropraite for her to be constantly bombarding your husband with all the gory details. Good luck and please take care of yourself, not eating is NOT wise. PLEASE take care of yourself xXx
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