A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 15 and I've got a dating problem. I like this guy who says he loves me, and we've already dated back in 7th grade. He writes me awesome love letters and gives me gifts. I like him and really want to go back out with him, but now I'm really shy. I haven't had a date in 2 years. Or kissed a guy for 2 years. lol. They always say listen to your heart, but my heart is also very confused. No one really understands where I'm coming from, but this is really hard for me. Please help me to decide, if it's possible.
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female
reader, Mizz-Experienced +, writes (28 July 2005):
All you know is that he obviosly really likes you and has written you Love Letter and Gifts, even told you he loves you. What else do you need in a guy. He sounds caring and considerate. Ask yourself these questions- How was he when you first dated in 7th grade?- How is he now?- Does he make your Heart feel it's runing a Marathon when you think about him or when you see him?
If you answer these questions your Heart will decide
A
reader, kayla +, writes (28 July 2005):
you should give the boy a chance when you find "the one" you'll know it you'll be able to say anything around him and you want feel crazy for saying it.if your still shy around him act like he's jusy one of your really good friends.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (27 July 2005):
Sweetheart, you are only 15! You are in the middle of turning into a beautiful young woman. And the guy is practicing his courtship arts. I suspect that he really thinks he loves you, and after all the years you know each other, he may. But, you both have a lot of growing to do, and new experiences to enjoy in the next 7-10 years. You both need to complete school, and plan for careers, and get the advanced education you will need to be a success in your chosen fields( I use the plural because young people should be planning on more than one career choice.)I was head over heels in love and lust with a beautiful girl in college, but I met her when I was a sophomore, and had already decided that I wanted to be a lawyer, and had 5 more years of schooling to complete before I could start earning money. I had no business taking the time to spend money I did not have trying to woe this beauty. It was the hardest thing I ever did to that time to simply smile at her, and talk to her, but never ask her out. She made it obvious that she was attracted to me, but I had to take a pass. I later saw her going out with another guy. I didn't let it hurt my feelings, because I knew I had made the correct decision. But I know how it hurts, and what you are going through. Be friends with this guy, but keep the relationship casual, and platonic. If it really is the real deal, it will last while both of you grow up. I still email a woman who had a crush on me when I was 14 years old, and in high school. She was a year older, which made me embarrassed to be seen with her until the last semester of my junior- her senior- year, when I realized that no one else really gave a darn about my relationship with her, but were just waiting to razz me about it. After graduation, she entered a city college, met the man she married, and moved to Los Angeles. She has two children, and 4 grandchildren at last count. When we talk, its as if we last spoke yesterday. We cherish the friendship we have had for the past 44 years, and have laughed about how close we have stayed inspite of the different lives we have lived. Time will tell what will happen between you and your bf. If his letters are bothering you, tell him to cool it. But save them. Like the letters put away by the woman in The Bridges of Madison County, they will be treasures you can cherish with your children when you are older.Not everyone has gotten love letters from anyone, and today, most people can hardly spell, much less actually write a cogent love letter. Its a shame, and one institution I wish was revisited by young people. You do not know what you are missing.
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A
male
reader, namless_lover +, writes (27 July 2005):
I don't know what to say other than go for it! Take a chance, if it doesn't work, you've only lost time, and there is always time! Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Anastasia +, writes (27 July 2005):
Okay sweetie. This is the deal ...you are 15. He sounds like a really romantic guy that really likes you alot. Yes it is true to listen to your heart but sometimes we need to involve our brain into it as well. I know how hard it is to be confused as to what to do when you heart is telling you one thing but your brain and everyone else is telling you another.It is frustrating and you feel trapped by your own feelings. My advice would be to take it slow. We each change as time goes by. Start off as friends and see where it goes. Take your time...get to know him again and don't rush into anything. If he really truly still has genuine feeling for you...he would wait as well until you are comfortable to move to another level.
Take care...and good luck
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