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male
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*admatt
writes: Hi,I'm 23 and I met this girl a few months ago. We hit it off straight away and have been on on quite a few dates since (we've had such a great time on them all) were into all the same things and to top it all off she's smart funny and soooo good looking. Now the problem! She has to go away in November. She's told me she really likes me (said she loved me once but we'd had a few beers so I ignored it)but she doesn't want to get to close as she doesn't want to get hurt when she leaves. Only prob is we are getting close and she knows it so keeps backing off every now and then only to be full on the next day.It's really hurting me not knowing what to do. I'm falling in love but i know it's gonna end in tears. Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 July 2005):
 So, it's pretty obvious that she's getting to like you. Why not bring up the matter of her departure soon and discuss how you might solve the communication problem.
Pops is right. Between webcams, text, email, snail mail, and rock-bottom airfares, it's going to be hard for her to be so uncontactable that you can't keep a good thing going, if you're both determined.
And anyway, if you're both adults, why can't you give some thought to going with her, wherever she's going? Do it now, while you're young, early in your career and before you find yourself saddled with a mortgage and kids who need braces.
Think about what's important to you, then, if you think it's worth it, discuss ways around the distance between you.
A
reader, pops +, writes (27 July 2005):
What, is she going to Mars? Come one, where can you go that you can't stay in touch by email? Is she planning to return? What is the reason that you can't follow her at some time? If this is the real thing, work it out with her. Otherwise, quit torturing yourself. You will survive the lose of a loved one, even someone as great as you describe. It has happened to most of us more than once. Sometimes you meet the people years later and wonder what the attraction was all about. Other times, the attraction is obvious, and the friendship is renewed on one basis or another. Remember the old line by the fisherman: " You can't tell stories about the ones that got away, unless you go fishing and lose one from time to time. If you quit fishing when you lose the first fish, what have you got to talk about?"
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