A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im sitting here typing, wondering what ive done wrong.i have a male friend who has recently moved to another team-same job due to a manager clash. we worked together for 18 months. during that time we were on the phone all the time. he rang me like 8 times a day-mostly for help with work. i stupidly became very attached to him without realising. he was going through some bad stuff in his ome life so i felt sorry for him and helped him on his feet and through his work exams. i also bought him a lot of stuff to try and make him feel better.anyway hes now moved teams and i hardly hear from him. hes called once but ive been the one doing the most contact and im hurt that he would do this. hes totally forgotten had it not been for me he wouldnt be here as he was on the vere of getting sacked and im hurt at this attitude that he now thinks hes too good to talk to me. my other friends say what goes around comes around but im still so hurt hes stopped valuing me why ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GRW  +, writes (21 January 2011):
I doubt you've done anything wrong. Are you attracted to this guy, or is it strictly platonic? He might just be very busy, and calling you keeps slipping his mind. Since he has now gotten to where he wants to be with the job, there is no immediate need to get in touch with you like there was before. It is also possible that he was just using you to help himself, but I don't think that's the case in this situation.The fact is that people are just...different. Most people are not very good at keeping in touch, with one person usually having to put in more effort to maintain some sort of relationship . You really should not take this personally, especially since he is a guy. I am very busy and rarely call most of my friends, other than my few best ones. This aggravates almost all of my female friends, but I do not mean to come across as uncaring.
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (21 January 2011):
 You could spend forever trying to answer your questions about this guy or you could just put the whole thing down to experience and move on.Of course it's worth putting your questions to him directly but, ultimately, he's a free man - maybe he needed you for a while but, now he doesn't. Not a lot you can do.It may hurt and it may feel like you've been used but what can you do about that other than accept that there are people out there who use other people?Sorry if this isn't what you were hoping to hear BUT it's the truth.
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